Dark Poetry #4 |
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Nightmare (one of my first) |
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brokenboy New Member
since 2006-04-01
Posts 2Uk, wales...yep land of sheep! |
Nightmare Vicious hatred beneath the surface, concealed from the eyes of the beholder, enfeebling without trace, senses boiled colder, breaks as fatality comes to the inner flame howling vigorously endlessly, impossible to tame, bound to your spirit, no longer under control, spilling dark side over light, as it ignites your soul, holding an eternal fight, unbearable flares scorching through its cage, burning the depths of your flesh into night twisting tears, tormenting rage. tearing you apart from within, sinking your soul into hell, where true pain shall begin, torturing slowly as the sun shall crawl, aimlessly screaming for aid. turning to the twilight , tears no longer fall, as the darkness begins to fade. enjoy lol better to have never met you in my dreams than to wake and reach for your hand every morning only to know your not here" |
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© Copyright 2006 Andrew Reaney - All Rights Reserved | |||
aliway Member
since 2006-03-05
Posts 185With in your eyes |
welcome to pip WoW...This was deep. I don’t like the ending if it’s the “enjoy lol” but if its not then you shouldn’t put it with the poem, because after you read your poem and seeing “enjoy lol” right at the end it throws off what you're saying. Great poem, love to read more of your work. |
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click1 Member
since 2003-03-25
Posts 152usa |
LOL, nicely done! "enfeebling"? I like this word,A verb? a noun? cool..but the rest comes through also! Thanx!!! Click |
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brokenboy New Member
since 2006-04-01
Posts 2Uk, wales...yep land of sheep! |
rawr! , "enjoy lol" wasn't part of the poem, i didn't know how to edit it out >_< , o yeah and enfeebling means = taking strength away. |
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greysolace Member
since 2006-03-27
Posts 71 |
i think the "enjoy lol" was nice anyway... without the "lol", its like some dark humor. it could be said smugly or meanly sarcastic. its really good. conveys so much emotion. reminds me of some of my stuff, actually. awesome. ~~Poetry is written emotion~~ |
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