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Dark Poetry #4
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Torn
| Dark Poetry #4 |
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Torn |
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green_itchy_stuff Senior Member
since 2003-06-26
Posts 1929New Caney, Tx |
What I say here will be what I feel As I write I will be giving birth I only pray it could actually hurt to do so Give birth to this piece entitled "Torn" What happened in my past, (immediate past)? Where do I come from? I've never left where I'm at, but where do I come from? I thought things,... and I draw a blank I keep seeing that dead man in my head Like a recurring image And I want Satan to shut up Live in your Hell alone you stupid angel Why does it feel like you're looking over my shoulder? Like the soul of a little boy embedded into mine And it oos and ahhs and says its all so cute and adorable Now its part of the page and will be forever I don't even know what I should want anymore To love? Be loved? My promised land that stands at a distance? Even if I don't understand And never set foot in my land, praise you Lord. Maybe this is part of it And maybe this piece will hurt a little after all I did pray for it to Either way... I don't understand why I'm the weak idiot What is it that has actually torn this piece? My brain could never do this And look how it has happened I'm perfectly torn in documentation A notation written by me with true wisdom And I'm completely helpless to understand Praise you Jesus Did I say that because I wanted to? Or because I would have felt guilty if I didn't? Either way praise you Jesus Maybe I'm just an idiot And maybe I should just shut up While I ramble Complaining about their complaining That makes me complain Or is it a choice? Only a faithful bullet will tell And now I'm finished it makes me laugh Corruption is caused by holes in obedience to God. [This message has been edited by green_itchy_stuff (01-10-2005 12:57 AM).] |
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| © Copyright 2005 Kenneth Craig Rogers - All Rights Reserved | |||
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fractal007 Senior Member
since 2000-06-01
Posts 1958 |
Well, it is good to see dark poetry charged with Christian imagery again. The addresses to metaphysical entities such as God and the devil are well done in this piece. The reference to the bullet at the end, I hope, is not a reference to suicide! The poem is rambly, but you make reference to that at the end. At the same time the theme of giving birth and the potential for physiological damage inherent in that process is well-developed. It is interesting that it almost alludes to the curses in Genesis. God greatly increasing the pain of women giving birth. Perhaps you intended this? If not, it's an interesting allusion and good material for an extended metaphor on the process of writing itself. I think I will add this to my library. Any idiot can see that the result is true. |
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green_itchy_stuff Senior Member
since 2003-06-26
Posts 1929New Caney, Tx |
Thank you. Actually the bullet is a reference to suicide. If it miss fires then complaining isn't a choice, because I couldn't take the easy way out. And yes, I was refering to the curse of pain during childbirth refered to in Genesis. -GIS Corruption is caused by holes in obedience to God. |
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Purity Senior Member
since 2001-11-20
Posts 526Once Upon, USA |
To one so truly Blessed... Awesome, my true friend. This is you at your best, and I needed this poem today. Love, AS ALWAYS... Gosh, what a lamplight. Wings bruised from turning away in such confined space...Not broken...still healable...still feathered with life, somewhere |
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green_itchy_stuff Senior Member
since 2003-06-26
Posts 1929New Caney, Tx |
Thank you purity. You're a cool and I'm obviously favored by God to have you as a friend. -GIS Corruption is caused by holes in obedience to God. |
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River Senior Member
since 2003-09-16
Posts 627my own little world |
"I don't even know what I should want anymore To love? Be loved? My promised land that stands at a distance?" Ditto. I know exactly what your talkin about. "Stained by the sun, I can see colors...colors of mercy washing over me." - 3 Minutes From Home |
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green_itchy_stuff Senior Member
since 2003-06-26
Posts 1929New Caney, Tx |
Thank you River. I believe you. -GIS Corruption is caused by holes in obedience to God. |
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