Dark Poetry #4 |
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if you could |
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EveGnosis Member
since 2002-02-21
Posts 300New York, USA ![]() |
if you could see through my eyes perhaps but for the single split of a second you'd be amazed the colorful portrait of what i see it's emotional detail the vividness of its attraction and intensity of it's beauty if you could see through my eyes only if in a moment of a chance of glance you'd be transfixed the radience of a wish's purity a likenness to a glowing butterfly clarity unbelievable in a mere snapshot and such an image of overwhelm if you could see through my eyes even as a one-time peripheral vision you'd be forever mine the promise of all i have a guarantee of hope imprinted forever it's value increasing daily with enlargements further detailing my love for you. if you could... i'll always need a friend, one i can defend. |
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green_itchy_stuff Senior Member
since 2003-06-26
Posts 1929New Caney, Tx |
I wish I could see clearer period. Beautiful. -GIS Doing the same thing a million times in a row will definitely affect your head. Read and pratice and read and pratice and read and prati........ead a |
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Purity Senior Member
since 2001-11-20
Posts 526Once Upon, USA |
Kodak, Minolta, Olympus, Canon, HP, and all the rest ain't got a thing on you. Your pictures come out in such vibrant detail that I want an EveGnosis camera! Awesome poem of love, yet left somewhat dark (i.e. "underexposed" lol) by leaving it at "if you could..." Wings bruised from turning away in such confined space...Not broken...still healable...still feathered with life, somewhere |
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*Alli4000*![]()
since 2004-03-21
Posts 3188The World of Poetry |
"if you could see through my eyes perhaps but for the single split of a second you'd be amazed the colorful portrait of what i see it's emotional detail the vividness of its attraction and intensity of it's beauty" That first stanza was amazing...as was the whole poem. This is an amazing write...thanks for sharing! ~Alli~ *:.AIM = Alli4000.:* My Journal |
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stevebrklynnyc Member
since 2004-01-04
Posts 292GA, Camden |
Hey dude, that was smooth. I think everyone at one time or another has shared your outlook on the most perplexing emotion of all, love! Enjoyed it muchly. Thanks. Keep on writing! |
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Hollow_Emptiness Senior Member
since 2004-02-01
Posts 715New Zealand |
That was really cool Eve. If people could look through my eyes, would they be unhappy about how I see them? or would they think I've done them justice. Your eyes are the second, I hope mine are too. Your writing is beautiful too. Hollow. Courtney. I find it kind of funny, I find it kind of sad. The dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had. - Gary Jules, Mad World. |
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darkness_witch Senior Member
since 2003-12-03
Posts 516Underneath |
beautiful poem, stunning imagery. really gorgeus to read. running out of adjectives!! hehehe I love reading your work sophie xx nirvana means freedom from pain, suffering and the external world. |
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vampiana Member
since 2004-09-08
Posts 296Nothing and Nowhere |
oh wow. that was simply amazing and beautiful and awesome...and i just loved it. your writing is so inspiring. -Vampiana "I cannot stand the way you tease, I love you though you hurt me so"-Marilyn Manson |
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News_From_Nowhere Member
since 2002-06-14
Posts 173CU, NY |
"its value increasing daily with enlargements" Your simile of your sight being like a picture perfect portrait was well done. Beautiful, indeed. "So give life to your dreams, for there lies your survival, and cast your heart beyond those faded scenes, and I'll bring you through the storm" |
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green_itchy_stuff Senior Member
since 2003-06-26
Posts 1929New Caney, Tx |
I just read it again, and its cool how you poured your heart out, one drop at a time, and then let it sit like you were wanting for someone to pour back into you. -GIS Doing the same thing a million times in a row will definitely affect your head. Read and pratice and read and pratice and read and prati........ead a |
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silhouetted Senior Member
since 2004-01-30
Posts 537New Zealand |
fantastic. absolutely! -Laura you're the only one keeping me alive |
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A Tone of Voice Member
since 2001-07-18
Posts 287 |
in a way this makes me think of "The eyes of Laura Mars"....it fits your photo, I liked the concept very much! |
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