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Dark Poetry #4

What you want me to be.

PainBaneChaos
Member

since 2003-10-17

Posts 150
The point of no return

0 posted 2004-11-15 01:17 PM

Corroded,
corrosive,
intangibility.
Unattainable,
unreachable,
little bit of insanity.
Pushing,
prodding,
hinting at impossibility.
Guiding,
gliding,
running toward impersonality.
Faceless,
fenceless,
no hint of individuality.
Nameless,
nerveless,
leave no mark on society.

kissa~rachelle
Senior Member

since 2003-11-27

Posts 988
nowhere special

1 posted 2004-11-15 04:42 PM

ohhh...i like this alot...I wish i could write something like this...i have tried, buit it never sounds right. Anyways, great write.

Kissa

I ask why, but in my mind,
I find i cant really rely on myself.
~~~Linkin Park~~~

PainBaneChaos
Member

since 2003-10-17

Posts 150
The point of no return

2 posted 2004-11-15 04:43 PM

Thanks, this one just kind of came out and I didn't even realize what I was writing until I was finished and went back to read it again.

"World's use is cold, world's love is vain, world's cruelty is bitter bane; but is not the fruit of pain." Elizabeth Barrett Browning

News_From_Nowhere
Member

since 2002-06-14

Posts 173
CU, NY

3 posted 2004-11-15 11:36 PM

Oh so nicely done.
Strange, society is such an "in" thing
that it worked where all the other "marked"
points of this poem end with an "in" word...
you finish with society.
I like the contrast of this.
Sweet!!!

Rider

"So give life to your dreams, for there lies your survival, and cast your heart beyond those faded scenes, and I'll bring you through the storm"

PainBaneChaos
Member

since 2003-10-17

Posts 150
The point of no return

4 posted 2004-11-16 04:30 PM

Yet again, thank you oh so muchly. :-D I love this one.

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