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Hollow_Emptiness
Senior Member

since 2004-02-01

Posts 715
New Zealand

0 posted 2004-10-22 06:46 PM

Welcome to this masquerade,
Dim the lights,
And take a seat, buckle in
We don’t want you to leave.

Chardonnay glass per hand and lips,
Binoculars at the ready,
Cameras please are ushered in,
They will not blind the actors,
No, the corps march in as corpses.

Booming laughter, giggle, groan, giggle, groan,
We don’t want you to leave.

Did it ever occur?
To the gray thing in your head,
That we run to be found?
Oh yes,
We run to be found.
And we don’t want you to leave.

If we run to be found,
And in finding we must run,
Maybe this show isn’t for entertainment,
But for pure, whole attention?

A perfect plot, it all unfolds,
Tale told by wise and old,
A death to die waits uncannily coy,
For you and I,
Take a bow. Take a bow.
Exit left. Exit right.
Take a bow. Take a bow
Applause, thank you
Goodnight.

I find it kind of funny, I find it kind of sad. The dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had. - Gary Jules, Mad World.

green_itchy_stuff
Senior Member

since 2003-06-26

Posts 1929
New Caney, Tx

1 posted 2004-10-22 08:39 PM

That was pretty cool. You think your on top and there is no top, just more. Cool.

-GIS

He has made everything beautiful in its own time. -Ecclesiastes 3:11

s1nfully_1nn0c3nt
Senior Member

since 2003-10-26

Posts 1105
Watertown, NY

2 posted 2004-10-24 10:06 AM

Wow, I Liked It Alot, It Was An Amazing Read...

Happiness Runs From Me, For I Am It's Enemy, Anyone Who Has It, Is Someone I Envy...

Much Luv,
"Trina"

darkness_witch
Senior Member

since 2003-12-03

Posts 516
Underneath

3 posted 2004-10-24 11:04 PM

hehe awesome
i love how it was a story with a kinda moral.

loved the "sound techniques" i did notice them!!!

hehe "the hounsell" has taught us sumthing huh!

love and empathy
darkness

nirvana means freedom from pain, suffering and the external world.

silhouetted
Senior Member

since 2004-01-30

Posts 537
New Zealand

4 posted 2004-10-25 01:31 AM

wow! how dare u tell me not to read this poem!
it was awesome! i LOVED IT!

i giggled allll the way thru at its brilliance! aaaah wowowowoowoww! gud work

im never taking ur advice agen

LOR

put your frustrations into four letter words - incubus

Lexy
Senior Member

since 2003-01-28

Posts 1038
California

5 posted 2004-10-30 12:37 PM

I like the feeling this piece has, really eerie.
Like this line and concept:
That we run to be found
I enjoy your writing.

vampiana
Member

since 2004-09-08

Posts 296
Nothing and Nowhere

6 posted 2004-10-30 02:21 AM

speechless..i loved this poem so very much. i loved the rhythm i got out of it and the sound techniques were awesome. i am tempted to say this is my favourite...but i'm not sure..i think there was another that i've liked more. but this poem, it had style, it had..oh god, it was just fricking AWESOME! soooo very cool..
i am SAVING!

Love,
Kurst

"I cannot stand the way you tease, I love you though you hurt me so"-Marilyn Manson

stevebrklynnyc
Member

since 2004-01-04

Posts 292
GA, Camden

7 posted 2004-11-15 03:05 PM

I think I have seen this show as well. Good write, Steve.

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