The Shadow of Our Remorse - pipTalk Forums

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Purity
Senior Member

since 2001-11-20

Posts 526
Once Upon, USA

0 posted 2004-10-08 11:44 PM

And here we are just children of our own demise
And longing still for words to be passed from the wise
For the ones who came before us are now dead and gone
And for those who shall be tomorrow, there's nothing to
carry on...

And now we are alone
The truth shall fall from the skies no more
And all our counted days
Are like ships on the grave ocean's floor

And here we are all bound by our own fettered chains
The key to unlock our chances no longer remains
The elders spoke, long ago, prophecies foretold
But silent sounds are all that's now left to hold...

And still we are alone
Hope is alive in this place no more
For closed eyes can only see
The shadow of our remorse.

Wings bruised from turning away in such confined space...Not broken...still healable...still feathered with life, somewhere

wranx
Member Elite

since 2002-06-07

Posts 3689
Moved from a shack to a barn

1 posted 2004-10-08 11:50 PM

When truth no longer falls freely

There comes a time when truth must be mined..clawed out of the earth kicking and screaming.

Nice write friend Purity

green_itchy_stuff
Senior Member

since 2003-06-26

Posts 1929
New Caney, Tx

2 posted 2004-10-09 12:25 PM

Truth is easy to miss, but at the same time it depends on where you look. Nice write, Carrigan

-GIS

He has made everything beautiful in its own time. -Ecclesiastes 3:11

EveGnosis
Member

since 2002-02-21

Posts 300
New York, USA

3 posted 2004-10-09 10:36 AM

holy !@$#@!$#$%^%$#@!!@#$#@*. so i posted a message to poe stating that there was hope indeed, and then this thing. bummer. bring me down, purity. i thought you were the one that always brought us up? lol. actually this is a phenominal poem. "all our counted days are like ships on the grave ocean's floor". very good wording throughout, and touche' to you, for if this isn't a song, shame on you.
dark...having to scream from way out at sea, in vain.

i'll always need a friend, one i can defend.

News_From_Nowhere
Member

since 2002-06-14

Posts 173
CU, NY

4 posted 2004-10-09 10:55 PM

This is really, really great.
I loved how you start each stanza with
"And here we are", and I truly dug the
"all bound by our own fettered chains"!
But what got me most was the play on words
where the truth falls from the sky....no more!
And hope is alive...no more.
Awesome.

"So give life to your dreams, for there lies your survival, and cast your heart beyond those faded scenes, and I'll bring you through the storm

PoetsPlay
Member

since 2007-12-22

Posts 56
California

5 posted 2008-02-28 11:40 PM

This is really good! I like it a lot.

Alexandra

eternally_singing
Member

since 2007-12-18

Posts 123
PA, United States

6 posted 2008-03-01 01:08 PM

Very well done! I especially liked “For closed eyes can only see / The shadow of our remorse.”

I greatly enjoyed reading this. Thank you for sharing.

Knowledge is power, power corrupts, study hard, be EVIL!

EveGnosis
Member

since 2002-02-21

Posts 300
New York, USA

7 posted 2008-03-12 12:10 PM

now this takes me back to a lifetime ago. purity, this was one of the only poems that i ever read of yours that followed a pattern. i know you were usually against that, but this was, is and always will be an awesome write. if you have not made a song outta this one, my band would love to! dark...dark, indeed. love it!

of all the things we try to find... it's only love we keep.

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