New found fears...(PLEASE READ!!!)

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kissa~rachelle
Senior Member

since 2003-11-27

Posts 988
nowhere special

0 posted 2004-09-09 05:37 PM

I hope everyone likes this. I wroet it last night. I think i have finally unblocked my writers block.
hehehe.

Rain drops tapping on her window
Oh the songs they play.
If only it
weren't just a dream,
if only they could stay.

She lies on her bed,
a tear streaming down her face.
It knows
the route too well.
Every curve and every space.

The pain gets more intense,
with every breath she takes.
Her heart breaks
a little more
with every move he makes.

Her face is so wrinkled,
from all the nights
of endless tears.
Her soul is overtaken,
by all her new-found fears.

She prays for release.
The pain is getting to be too much.
She trys to accept
that he is gone.
no longer there to touch.

She just cannot forgive herself.
She caused him so much pain.
She tries to tell herslef,
that its not her fault,
that someone else is to blame.

If only
it were that easy.
If only
she could forget.
But everything reminds her.
Of the very day he left.

Rain drops tapping on the window.
Holding her close to him.
Who would have thought,
this very day,
could turn out to be so grim.

~~~~~Karissa~~~~~

I ask why, but in my mind,
I find i cant really rely on myself.
~~~Linkin Park~~~

*Alli4000*

Member Elite

since 2004-03-21

Posts 3188
The World of Poetry

1 posted 2004-09-09 06:49 PM

OMG Karissa!! I'm sitting here speechless...your poems are always absolutely amazing.
I'm going to add it to my library...hope you don't mind.

Also, glad to hear you got rid of your writer's block...if only i could get rid of mine...*sigh*.

~Alli~

*:.AIM = Alli4000.:*
Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened...

PainBaneChaos
Member

since 2003-10-17

Posts 150
The point of no return

2 posted 2004-09-09 07:45 PM

I definitely think, of all your work that I've seen, this is definitely one of the best. Cheers.

It's not the letting go that hurts, it's the holding on.

KuruShio
Member

since 2003-11-18

Posts 110

3 posted 2004-09-09 08:16 PM

if you keep writing peices of this quality, i will continue to be glad your writters block is gone.

cheers

Neither night nor day can give me purchase only purged dust on earth can avenge the worthless.
KuruShio (DeadlyBob)

kissa~rachelle
Senior Member

since 2003-11-27

Posts 988
nowhere special

4 posted 2004-09-09 09:41 PM

thanks for all the comments everyone.

I really love getting feedback, esp. good feedback! lol

I am glad my writers block is gone too! lol

Karissa

I ask why, but in my mind,
I find i cant really rely on myself.
~~~Linkin Park~~~

brezee
Member

since 2003-06-02

Posts 140

5 posted 2004-09-09 10:02 PM

'She lies on her bed,
a tear streaming down her face.
It knows
the route too well.
Every curve and every space.'

That is so awesome! I love how you said that...friggin' sweet write here!, keep it up! WOT! WOT!...

~*brezee*~

kissa~rachelle
Senior Member

since 2003-11-27

Posts 988
nowhere special

6 posted 2004-09-09 10:16 PM

hehehe..
why thankya!

I like it a lot too! lol

Karissa

I ask why, but in my mind,
I find i cant really rely on myself.
~~~Linkin Park~~~

MGROVES

Member Elite

since 2004-02-01

Posts 3802
california

7 posted 2004-09-09 11:37 PM

this is beautiful

vampiana
Member

since 2004-09-08

Posts 296
Nothing and Nowhere

8 posted 2004-09-09 11:39 PM

I am in absolute awe...that was such a brilliant poem...i'm glad you've got rid of your writers block too. *sigh* i wish i could write the way you do...

Tomorrow, is the today we feared yesterday.

kissa~rachelle
Senior Member

since 2003-11-27

Posts 988
nowhere special

9 posted 2004-09-10 07:30 PM

Thanks you so much for all the comments so far...i really appreciate it.

Vampiana:

Thats actually pretty funny, because i feel the same way about your writing... And i am also glad i can write good poems again...Lately i seemed to have lost it, but now i think i am getting it back! lol
Likle i said before, thnk you.

(sorry if that made no sense at all)

I ask why, but in my mind,
I find i cant really rely on myself.
~~~Linkin Park~~~

Hollow_Emptiness
Senior Member

since 2004-02-01

Posts 715
New Zealand

10 posted 2004-09-13 01:49 AM

Ah ah ah ah. So great. I love it. Made me want to write. Best of yours I've read.

Hollow.

I find it kind of funny, I find it kind of sad. The dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had. - Gary Jules, Mad World.

Purity
Senior Member

since 2001-11-20

Posts 526
Once Upon, USA

11 posted 2004-09-13 10:19 AM

Raindrops tapping on her window and tears that know the route all too well... Your metaphors were overwhelming in this one! It was sad as hell, but absolutely beautiful. GREAT JOB ~ KEEP UP THE AWESOME WORK ~ WRITERS BLOCK BE GONE!!!

Lose one friend... Lose all friends... Lose Yourself...

littlewing
Member Rara Avis

since 2003-03-02

Posts 9655
New York

12 posted 2004-09-13 05:22 PM

Karissa?

this is amazing . . .

the rain always makes me feel better,
strangely, but yes, it brings the
past with it when it comes . . .

aussie teen
Member

since 2003-09-27

Posts 396
Australia

13 posted 2004-09-14 06:11 AM

its excelent your writers block is gone and gone with this piece.... this is all to familiar for meyou capture the emotions and everything perfectly
i love
Her face is so wrinkled,
from all the nights
of endless tears.
Her soul is overtaken,
by all her new-found fears.

She prays for release.
The pain is getting to be too much.
She trys to accept
that he is gone.
no longer there to touch.

these mean more to me than the words that they are.
again beautiful im jealous
keep up the writing...
Ruth

live life as if your going to die tomorow....... but love as if your going to live forever......

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