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Open Poetry #30
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Thin Ice
| Open Poetry #30 |
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Thin Ice |
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icequeen Senior Member
since 2001-12-09
Posts 633FL USA 
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October came and went You forgot my birthday - the first time in sixteen years I didn't bother to remind you Instinct told me you didn't really care Now November is gone and cold has settled into more than the air My imperfection so stark against your snow-white always-right selfishness I could do nothing good at the right time and nothing right at a good time So appropriate it is, then for the first killing frost of winter to come on the same day that I fell through your ice and disappeared Too used up to ever be used again Death by December's first freeze Finally my timing is perfect. © Caroline Rush Markham 2003 the only man worth your tears will never make you cry |
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| © Copyright 2003 Caroline Rush Markham - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Caroline...Emotional pull to this took me in...Well done! Hugs! |
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A Romantic Heart Member Ascendant
since 1999-09-03
Posts 5496Forever In Your Heart |
Well happy late birthday....I liked the title and the way you used it within the poem! ~ARH  |
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Masked Intruder
Moderator
Senior Member
since 1999-05-23
Posts 1231Near golden sunsets |
Excellent! Great emotion, the mood pulled me right in. |
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WhiteRose Member Elite
since 2002-07-23
Posts 3208somebody's dungeon |
Really dark, with a velvet touch. Nicely done. |
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icequeen Senior Member
since 2001-12-09
Posts 633FL USA |
Thank you all very much  Its been so long since I've written anything and I keep looking at what I write now with a really critical eye and thinking - ugggghhhh. But hopefully with practice I will be back to normal LOL (whatever normal is!!)Thanks again and hugs to all of you Caroline |
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inkedgoddess Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-19
Posts 7392Ohio |
sounds like me these days....ugggghhhhhh anyhow, this is good and in your face and gets the job and point across like a much needed slap of reality good work poet |
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ice Member Elite
since 2003-05-17
Posts 3404Pennsylvania |
Chilling poetry... The heat of your decision seems to have melted the ice of reluctance to make a move, but at the end you proved you have broken through....good luck, and happy belated birthday... _______ice ><> |
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Serena Renae Junior Member
since 2003-12-04
Posts 48Ohio, USA |
Very strongly written, full of emotion. I believe All poetry should be jam packed with some form of emotion. Its always great to just write about what youre feeling..even if it hits home! Great work on this one! And happy belated birthday! Love, Serena |
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BluesSerenade Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549By the Seaside |
I can relate to this on many levels, my Birthday being in October as well, the rest just follows suit and I am so there. Could feel the frost that inspires the feelings, and yet there is much beauty here. Nicely said and done, Caroline. [This message has been edited by BluesSerenade (12-11-2003 03:04 PM).] |
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WannabePoet Member
since 2003-12-10
Posts 62New York USA |
Very emotional writing. It drew me in as well. Thanks for sharing. |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
too used up to ever be used again...God I know this feeling |
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Opeth Senior Member
since 2001-12-13
Posts 1543The Ravines |
If this event really did occur, then its description is even moreso chilling. Now... where did I put my "Events To Remember" planner? Enjoyed! "If this grand panorama before me is what you call God...then God is not dead." |
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