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Open Poetry #30
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DavePage
Member Elite
since 2003-12-21
Posts 2917


0 posted 2004-01-22 07:12 PM



I am stealing from your car
Why
I want the excitement
I want to live
How can you live from this
Give me something else
Give me life
Give my brain life
Give me money
Give me parents
Who cares


© Copyright 2004 Dave Page - All Rights Reserved
muted
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Member Elite
since 2004-01-15
Posts 2949
Elapsing, Eclipsing, Evolving
1 posted 2004-01-22 07:19 PM


*i do*
but unfortunately i cant be mom to the world, so i start with my son and hope it grows to something bigger....cause i truly do care.


Essential Distress
Junior Member
since 2004-01-22
Posts 33

2 posted 2004-01-22 07:24 PM


nice opening line...

really attention grabbing.

and it does highlight how easy it is to think that no one cares, or just ignore the carers...

DavePage
Member Elite
since 2003-12-21
Posts 2917

3 posted 2004-01-22 07:30 PM


I was trying to highlight how someone with a good brain stands in a milk queue for a bun and milk; cant afford the clothes and has to lead a life where all you can con is all you have;  where a prison is a short step from a policeman's easy cop

I am not soft on crime but how many dont have a way out

I joined the Royal Navy at 16 - cursed and fought it all the way but if anyone ever said to me "National Service" I would say "NO" in the services and "Yes" as a Civilian because "like needs like" and maybe 8 times around a parade ground is a start

Dave

DavePage
Member Elite
since 2003-12-21
Posts 2917

4 posted 2004-01-22 07:35 PM


I am wrong in my statement of someone with a good brain - anyone should have a chance - I spoke in the theme of what I was writing and I practised the attitude that I shouldn't have done
All people have the right, no matter what, to develop their lives and aspirations

I apologise

Dave

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