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Open Poetry #30

mimic my ache

Snow

Senior Member

since 2000-10-16

Posts 1170
desert flower looking for rain

0 posted 2004-01-21 12:50 PM

mimic my ache

i
a m
a brok en
re
c o r d

spinning my emotional
overture 'round and
      a
    r    o
    u    n
       d

winking at the moon
howling to cactus
screaming at the mother
who changes
the weather

s t o p

the  damn rain
long enough for breath
to catch
in raspy wanton

shivers found in the arms
the same arms holding
my words

in dreams
   my dreams
THE dream where concrete
still wet spells
i luv U 4 ever

waiting
for the sun
to shine in your eyes
and your lips
   to
mimic my
ache

snow©'03

"...why does my skeleton pursue me
if my soul has fallen away?"
~p.neruda

darkness_witch
Senior Member

since 2003-12-03

Posts 516
Underneath

1 posted 2004-01-21 12:53 PM

Snow
I dont know what to say

That is such an amazing and touching poem

waiting
for the sun
to shine in your eyes
and your lips
to
mimic my
ache

That has to be my favourite verse
There is alot of pain and brutalness in this poem
I love it

Post more!!!

With hope and strength...
darkness

Never be alone, let darkness and shadows become your companions

steavenr
Member Elite

since 2003-11-17

Posts 4058

2 posted 2004-01-21 12:55 PM

I am always so fascinated by your neat formatting in your poetry that I sometimes forget to read your meaning (sorry). This one caught my attention in both areas. Strong write.

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

3 posted 2004-01-21 03:37 AM

awesome format!

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