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ice
Member Elite

since 2003-05-17

Posts 3404
Pennsylvania

0 posted 2004-01-19 07:13 AM

Void of hope? there is never a day,
When lost is that form of love...
But fledgling birds can fly from us,
Easily, rise through earths thin air-
Crust, into air-less skies
Tiny wings lifting, climbing up
Falling stardust..higher and higher
Until they reach heaven but never
Past  boundaries, our love has set;
Always in reach of the embracing arms,
Of our fondest memories.
*
Now we must
Show our hearts, by hugging-arms
Of flesh and blood, bosom press
The little birds into our breasts
And lie...about  corporal things
Say everything will be all right,
To sooth them;
And hide own fright.
*
end

ice
Member Elite

since 2003-05-17

Posts 3404
Pennsylvania

1 posted 2004-01-19 07:19 AM

I have been asked to write a poem for or about terminally ill children..for a book that is going to be sold to raise money to ease expenses of their parents.
I need feedback here....will this poem make the parents sad...will it give them strength... am I way off base with the messege...??? please let me know, I can start over with a theme, I have done it thousands of times...lol
Thanks in advance for any repies...:-)
________ice
><>

Martie

Moderator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-09-21

Posts 28049
California

2 posted 2004-01-19 11:30 AM

ice

"And lie...about  corporal things
Say everything will be all right,
To sooth them;
And hide own fright."

It must be terrible to know that your child is dying.  I think the best thing to do would be not to lie though...but to talk about the fear...the child has this fear too...and although they may not understand the disease, I expect they know they are in a special place and not like other children.  The quoted part above bothered me for that reason...and also, I don't think the parents own fear should be hidden.  A child sees it anyway and probably understands that they are the cause.  It is better to be honest about feelings and to talk about fear in my opinion.

I hope this helps.

Mistletoe Angel

Member Empyrean

since 2000-12-17

Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon

3 posted 2004-01-19 09:26 PM

(big angel hugs) God Bless You, dearest friend, it saddens me deeply to see so many children who live with this misfortunes and ailnesses and my prayers are with them all as your poetry is medicine and compassion to all the hearts of the mothers and fathers of these boys and girls! (wipes tears) God Bless You, the parents, the children, and Ronald McDonald House, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Ford, thank you for sharing!

May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

"You'll find something that's enough to keep you
But if the bright lights don't receive you
You should turn yourself around and come back home" MB20

iliana
Member Patricius

since 2003-12-05

Posts 13434
USA

4 posted 2004-01-19 11:26 PM

Ice -- Beautifully done. This is so true. This was very sad. We have to go on, and hope will surface again. Wonderful write.

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

5 posted 2004-01-20 02:11 AM

I love 'em sad

ice
Member Elite

since 2003-05-17

Posts 3404
Pennsylvania

6 posted 2004-01-21 08:41 PM

Martie......Mistletoe Angel.....iliana
......Passing Shadows......
Thank you all for reading and commenting...this is a very hard task for me, I appreciate your feedback
________ice
><>

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