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navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #30 » Star Struck
Open Poetry #30
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DavePage
Member Elite
since 2003-12-21
Posts 2917
0 posted 2004-01-17 08:56 PM

Blue eyes
Space jeans
Orbit Dance

Pick up line
Lust in space
Earth cushioned fall

Admiring rockets
Bouncing into stars
Uranus focused my brain on the horizon

And lasers closed my mouth
© Copyright 2004 Dave Page - All Rights Reserved
ThisDiamond
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-02-22
Posts 9353
Michigan, USA
1 posted 2004-01-17 08:59 PM

Dave,
This was quite brilliant...Fiery in an understated way.  Enjoyed. TD
garysgirl
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237
Florida, USA
2 posted 2004-01-17 09:03 PM

Dave, I like that ending line. It was catchy.
dinky
Member
since 2002-10-19
Posts 258
3 posted 2004-01-17 10:00 PM

this was soo good!
good write
DavePage
Member Elite
since 2003-12-21
Posts 2917
4 posted 2004-01-18 04:26 PM

I actually regretted writing this after I had hit the button

I allowed my mind and mouth full range which was why the last line was necessary

Thanks for your kindness

Dave
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navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #30 » Star Struck

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