The Sweeper (Poet's Cut) - pipTalk Forums

How to Join	Member's Area	Private Library	Search	Sanctuary		Login
Main Forums	Discussion	Tech Talk	Mature Content	Archives	A home without a wall, Our haven without ends, A circle we all call Our Family of Friends!

Open Poetry #30

The Sweeper (Poet's Cut)

DavePage
Member Elite

since 2003-12-21

Posts 2917

0 posted 2004-01-18 03:33 PM

I've put the original in, in case anyone is interested - the version I hacked and published didn't flow and I still prefer the original myself.

Thirty years I’ve traipsed these boards
The dust still looks the same
I raised my voice in anger
But people were just the same
They came to hear King Harry
Or Richard
Or in vain
My voice was there
For them
Everytime
I swear the same

Now an old dresser
Keeping my master clean
Fighting with his odd moods
The things that are not seen
I keep him dressed
For every part
And hear his voice anew
As he fight’s his Richard
His back humped and sword threw

But still the dust remains the same
No matter how I sweep it
And still my heart throbs to say
I was Macbeth and beat it

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

1 posted 2004-01-18 03:35 PM

Sometimes we ought not hack so much...
for I see nothing wrong
with the original.

Thank you, Dave.

iliana
Member Patricius

since 2003-12-05

Posts 13434
USA

2 posted 2004-01-18 03:36 PM

What an interesting poem this is! Good one.

Suetang
Member Ascendant

since 2001-03-07

Posts 5187
Melbourne, Australia

3 posted 2004-01-18 03:39 PM

I really liked this one Dave, fabulous images.

Take care.......Sue

I am in motion
I am blue
Love is an ocean
I'm anchored in you
- Shawn Mullins

DavePage
Member Elite

since 2003-12-21

Posts 2917

4 posted 2004-01-18 04:20 PM

Thanks

Dave

	⇧ top of page ⇧
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.