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Greeneyes
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Member Rara Avis
since 2000-09-09
Posts 9903
In Your Poetic Mind

0 posted 2004-01-15 05:35 PM



Echoing          walls --
rain-drops tap the river
       sound traces trees
I sit silently            

the rippling    chant--

moves mountains


~*~
In your light I learn how to love
In your beauty how to make poems
You dance inside my chest where
no one sees you and that sight becomes art

[This message has been edited by Greeneyes (01-15-2004 06:08 PM).]

© Copyright 2004 Lauren~ - All Rights Reserved
Denise
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since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648

1 posted 2004-01-15 06:04 PM


This is lovely, Lauren! Soothing and relaxing too!
the_loner_23
Member Ascendant
since 2002-06-08
Posts 5479
Jacksonville, Florida, USA
2 posted 2004-01-15 06:13 PM


this is a very relaxing poem.

Cold hands means a warm heart

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

3 posted 2004-01-15 06:18 PM


I agree with loner.

A gentle write from a gentle poet.

lovely Lauren.

Enchantress
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since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
4 posted 2004-01-15 07:27 PM


Beautiful Lauren..very serene.
Love ya lady!
Hugs~

    In the midst of winter..
I found there lives within me,
    an invincible summer.

Nightshade
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Member Patricius
since 2001-08-31
Posts 13962
just out of reach
5 posted 2004-01-15 07:38 PM


....only as you can Lauren....hugs, Chris

"When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You know
that your name is safe in their mouth." Billy - age 4



    

Ravenwolfvoyager
Member
since 2003-12-25
Posts 326

6 posted 2004-01-15 07:51 PM


It does indeed as this write moves souls Greeneyes.
LiquidMidnight
Member
since 2003-09-24
Posts 50

7 posted 2004-01-15 08:23 PM


I enjoyed this very much. Many times when writers use unorthodox spacing in their works, it sounds very choppy. (I know sometimes that's their intention. But sometimes I just think it sounds to choppy) This has unorthodox spacing and it flows very well. I really liked the imagery of this work.
ctowen
Member Elite
since 2001-10-18
Posts 2286
Green Mountains of VT
8 posted 2004-01-15 11:51 PM


I pictured a heavy rain springing from a misty spray, each drop gathering .... gathering each other, gathering time ...
and as the downfall continues and water rises, the river grows, taking the banks with it ....
only the beginning for the mountains follow.


    Such a short piece but much said.

   Somedays I wish I could move mountains so easily ....
     then I realize,  I don't have the time.
         *S      oxox

garysgirl
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Member Laureate
since 2002-09-29
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Florida, USA
9 posted 2004-01-15 11:57 PM


Lauren, I also feel a calming and
peaceful feeling from this poem.
Huggggssss, my friend  :heart
Ethel

iliana
Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434
USA
10 posted 2004-01-16 01:15 AM


The way I understood this, it was the contrast of something relaxing that was capable of moving mountains -- what an ingenious write!
passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
11 posted 2004-01-16 03:34 AM


in awe
J.Samm
Member
since 2004-01-12
Posts 415
Iloilo City, Philippines
12 posted 2004-01-16 05:07 AM


"the rippling chant
   moves mountains"

truly a nugget of wisdom...


Jason Lyle
Senior Member
since 2003-02-07
Posts 1438
With my darkling
13 posted 2004-01-16 05:23 AM


I love to sit quiet, and hear the rain.

Jason

McLean
Member
since 2004-01-05
Posts 484
state of marital bliss
14 posted 2004-01-16 06:37 AM


Love the rain, especially on a tin roof!  Your words paint a lovely calm.

McLean

choshi
Senior Member
since 2004-01-01
Posts 1184
New York
15 posted 2004-01-16 06:44 AM


ethereal mystical images, really nice one  ~C
Mistletoe Angel
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Portland, Oregon
16 posted 2004-01-18 09:23 PM






(kiss on cheek) Awwwwwww, I just love your surreal imagery as always, sweet friend, I believe all these melodies can literally melt the hearts of the mountains, yay, God Bless You, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Lauren, thank you for sharing!



May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

"You'll find something that's enough to keep you
But if the bright lights don't receive you
You should turn yourself around and come back home" MB20

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