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Open Poetry #30
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2writeis2be
Junior Member
since 2004-01-11
Posts 45
Live in London, but from TX

0 posted 2004-01-14 05:45 PM


A million light years away
I feel
Spaced out
Literally
Being pulled forced onward backward
Gravity rejecting me
The closer I want to be
The more distant I become
Merging with
Detracting from
My goal
Which is momentarily
Unknown

[This message has been edited by 2writeis2be (01-15-2004 07:50 AM).]

© Copyright 2004 Lisa Somerset - All Rights Reserved
Ravenwolfvoyager
Member
since 2003-12-25
Posts 326

1 posted 2004-01-14 07:55 PM


That is true but you have the initiative to be there. A very enjoyable read! Thank you.
Michelle_loves_Mike
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2003-12-20
Posts 1189
Pennsylvania
2 posted 2004-01-15 07:46 AM


Again, I see where you're going with your post,,,,,,but, needs a lil punctuation,,

The closer I want to be the
More distant I become

The closer I want to be....
The more distant I become.

Just a suggestion,,,,,,
Take Care
Michelle

I wish all could find the true happiness I have found,,in the eyes of Mike

2writeis2be
Junior Member
since 2004-01-11
Posts 45
Live in London, but from TX
3 posted 2004-01-15 07:52 AM


i took that hint--thanx
Aimster
Member Elite
since 2000-02-19
Posts 4297
Charlotte, NC
4 posted 2004-01-15 08:38 AM


very interesting write this is.
i love the play with words, and how
you built each sentence off from the
next. I look forward to reading more from
you.
take care,
Amy

"When life gives you sorrow, may you experience the spirit of laughter"

iliana
Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434
USA
5 posted 2004-01-16 11:10 PM


I enjoyed this very clever writing.
passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
6 posted 2004-01-17 05:19 AM


you and me both
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