»
Archives
»
Open Poetry #30
»
Passed
| Open Poetry #30 |
|
Passed |
|
|
Sadelite Member Elite
since 2003-10-11
Posts 2519 |
Past Chappel’s field we drove down the wishy washy road Past fish pond, old red barn and fifty round-bales rowed Passed in time the large family that used to call it home Pastured many cattle the fertile land its rich black loam. The fringing road was long past mapped sketched along barbed wire line. Now, the sharp squarish curves only act as passing speeder’s stop sign. I, too, sped down the curving road when suddenly acceleration broke. 'fore turning the tight ninety bend, my farm-daughter disconcertedly spoke not about my speed as I knew she would but about strangers trodding clover. When our eyes observed more, Ten hastened men began work over the green meadows filled with season's last lush flower. Held in each man’s hands were a sledge and a flagged wooden stake hammering until each wooden spear was stapled in the ground. With each pound, I felt legacy’s heart unearth to break. Past Chappel’s field we drove down the wishy washy road Past fish pond, old red barn and fifty round-bales rowed Passed in time the large family who used to call it home Pastured many cattle the fertile land its rich black loam. [This message has been edited by Sadelite (11-25-2003 01:42 PM).] |
||
| © Copyright 2003 Sadelite - All Rights Reserved | |||
|
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
There are two poems in this, of now, and then. Enjoyed this very much, Sade. |
||
Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
Oh, this piece left me traveling alongside you on that path, past-to-present-to-future; the devouring of all that history, all that space, all but the memories. I am keeping this one to read again. thanks for sharing |
||
Greeneyes 
since 2000-09-09
Posts 9903In Your Poetic Mind |
you have such a way with your words....I really enjoyed this...  Lauren~ I had a dream last night |
||
|
Sadelite Member Elite
since 2003-10-11
Posts 2519 |
Sunshine, glad you stopped by--I wish you would have caught this after I revised it! I've read your recent posts, too and enjoyed! Sade |
||
|
Sadelite Member Elite
since 2003-10-11
Posts 2519 |
Midnitesun, I'm glad ya enjoyed the drive, and thanks for your nice comments! You know how to make a person feel good. Have a great day. Sadie greeneyes, Glad ya think so--it's not always the case! Usually I stick my foot in my mouth! Words do not come easy for me--especially words that are spoken! Happy writing to you. Sadie |
||
|
Astro Member
since 2003-01-08
Posts 69Ca. |
I always appreciate the use of rhyme. It shows that a writer spends time on their work. Of course it's not the only way to apply labor to a poem, it's just easily observable. Anyhow, I like the imagery. It reminds me of when I lived outside of the city. Now the city is approaching and the land has nowhere to run. The poem is a bit enigmatic, though. What do you mean by "acceleration broke"? I'm guessing it just means you were going fast. Secondly, are the ten men a road crew or are they hammering crosses into graves -- perhaps the graves of the past? I'm eager to know. |
||
|
icequeen Senior Member
since 2001-12-09
Posts 633FL USA |
Oooohhh I like this a lot... it reminds me of here, this town where I live. I could smell clover and see the men, and I have driven that road you were on (isn't it fun to take those curves just a little on the quick side?  ) Great poem.Caroline the only man worth your tears will never make you cry |
||
|
passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
seems kind of like a song to me...nice write |
||
|
LeeJ Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296 |
I was there to, you've taken me on a journey, one of which I so enjoy, driving down an unknown road with all kinds of things to explore...expecially with your sweetie by your side...no thoughts, just the radio, exchanging numerous smiles, feeling the total bliss of such times....and the best part was just being there with him...oh, that ol fool...ran off and got married...hehehehhehehe That sidewinder! Great poem, which brought back some very nice memories. |
||
|
Sadelite Member Elite
since 2003-10-11
Posts 2519 |
Astro, My, you have lots of questions! I just wrote the thing--you have to figure it out! I do like your interpretations, though! As to the rhyme, I'm learning that it is not as easy as it first seems. I must have edited this at least fifteen times after I posted it (after prior editing). I am always amazed when I see people doing this with apparent great ease, posting a couple of brilliantly written poems each day! Sadelite [This message has been edited by Sadelite (11-26-2003 10:11 AM).] |
||
|
Sadelite Member Elite
since 2003-10-11
Posts 2519 |
icequeen, do we live in the same town or is there another one out there? I'm glad you've had the chance to live in such a special place. Of course, any place one lays his hat is supposed to be special. and yes--taking those curves...you're right. They're especially a lot of fun (not tooo fast, though!!! Thanks for visiting. Sadelite passing shadows, A song? I don't think I could get the words out or at least, you'd probably prefer I didn't! I'm glad you heard one here, maybe I'm so close that my ears were muffled. See you around at your posts. Have a good thanks giving. |
||
|
Sadelite Member Elite
since 2003-10-11
Posts 2519 |
LeeJ, Glad this brought back good memories to you. And as to your other comment,isn't that the case. You have the best time of your life and so does he, and then impatience sets in and he goes off and marries somebody else. You're right, there are a lot of those sidewinders out there! hehe back at you with a soft smile. Sadelite [This message has been edited by Sadelite (11-26-2003 02:22 PM).] |
||
bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
Yep. You pull legacy's heart straight out of the crumbling soil here, brush it off, set a light on it, and call it "poem." .m. |
||
|
Ratleader
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass |
Poetic envelope.... just about every poem needs it, and all too few have it! This could be a classroom lesson in one way to build that structure. ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº> ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº> |
||
|
Sadelite Member Elite
since 2003-10-11
Posts 2519 |
bsquirrel, Interesting comment. When I wrote it, I was referring to my daughter as the legacy, but you're right, the land certainly has its own legacy doesn't it? Thank you for your comment. Sadelite Ratleader, Thank you for your comment. The structure just happened by chance--I liked the lines at the beginning and didn't know how to end it. They seemed to help a bit. Sadelite [This message has been edited by Sadelite (11-27-2003 05:29 PM).] |
||
|
iliana Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434USA |
That makes me sad, too -- Chappel's farm now a subdivision -- what next? Lots of love. |
||
|
Sadelite Member Elite
since 2003-10-11
Posts 2519 |
iliana, You snuck into my archives! Shame on you! Yes, this saddens me, but I'm sure many happy folks will enjoy residing in the country (what's left of it). It will be nice to have the opportunity to meet new neighbors. (So many years having gone without neighbors our own ages, we won't know what to do...) Thanks for reading and commenting. |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
