Take Out Too Heavy For Fast

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Cpat Hair

Member Patricius

since 2001-06-05

Posts 11793

0 posted 2004-01-13 01:26 PM

There was no Chinese for lunch
The place was closed
Newspaper stuck to door
Wrote of recent events
That were beginning to fade
Along the edges of both memory
And the paper used to convey
“We Are Closed”

Along the edge of blacktop
A raven sat
Head tilted to look at me
With a bit of arrogance

“This is mine!” it cawed.

It is warmer today
And I craved the taste of rice
The sticky kind
Yet found myself watching
A large black bird stake claim
To a corner of asphalt
With an air of
“I know you, be aware”

Perhaps an old Chinese witch
Who cursed the family there
And now stood guard to scare

Still hungry I climbed back into my seat
And drove away with a bit of sadness
For the inner decay of “failed”
That seemed to line this small area
Wondering long after
I had stopped at a deli
If the germs of this dis-ease
Had infected me as well

And they say
You are hungry in 30 minutes
After eating Chinese…
But I think them wrong

I ate nothing
But the deserted air of that place
Now shuttered in newsprint
And found it a heavy meal
not likely to be easily digested

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

1 posted 2004-01-13 01:31 PM

You write of life's briefest moments
with a deft, defining touch
making some of us [ok, me] stand in awe,
then flashing backs
to streets of my own.

Kaoru

Member Elite

since 2003-06-07

Posts 3892
where the wild flowers grow

2 posted 2004-01-13 01:35 PM

How I love seeing the world through another's perspective. Well done.

Enchantress
Member Empyrean

since 2001-08-14

Posts 35113
Canada eh.

3 posted 2004-01-13 01:43 PM

Well done sir.
Very much enjoyed the read.
Hugs~

In the midst of winter..
I found there lives within me,
an invincible summer.

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean

since 1999-07-07

Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla

4 posted 2004-01-13 02:03 PM

Cpat
This moment was certainly worth the read.

suthern

Member Seraphic

since 1999-07-29

Posts 20723
Louisiana

5 posted 2004-01-13 03:32 PM

I tried to pick a favorite passage... but I was so caught up in your story... You capture well the emptiness that has nothing to do with food consumed... Excellent work!

Greeneyes

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-09-09

Posts 9903
In Your Poetic Mind

6 posted 2004-01-13 05:38 PM

dang it you made me hungry lol

nodding no fair huh??? I guess I wont tell ya what I had for lunch...

so so good to see you here posting.....

~*~
In your light I learn how to love
In your beauty how to make poems
You dance inside my chest where
no one sees you and that sight becomes art

nakdthoughts
Member Laureate

since 2000-10-29

Posts 19200
Between the Lines

7 posted 2004-01-13 05:48 PM

I have seen the same happen around here, Ron.

And when I am hungry for Chinese, that is exactly what I want.

An excellent poem.

M

MARK V SHELDON
Member Elite

since 2001-06-21

Posts 3015
In a corporeal internship...

8 posted 2004-01-13 06:07 PM

Your writing keeps ringing "literature" in my ears, Ron. You do have a knack for "mentally photographing" details and mixing them with just the right amount of subjective emotion, and then balancing it with an aftertaste of ponder. I keep learning from you.

-MVS

You CAN make a difference:
http://educate-yourself.org/

Marge Tindal

Member Empyrean

since 1999-11-06

Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores

9 posted 2004-01-13 08:12 PM

CPat~
Made me HONGRY, ya' did~
Hope my Chinese is open ...~

Enjoyed the read ... I did~
*Huglets*
~*Marge*~

~*When the heart grieves over what it has lost,
the spirit rejoices over what it has left.
- Sufi epigram
[email protected]

scorpio
Member Ascendant

since 2002-10-02

Posts 5178
right...there

10 posted 2004-01-13 08:15 PM

Well written and a pleasure to read as always.

believe in what your heart feels...

Kit McCallum

Administrator

Member Laureate

since 2000-04-30

Posts 14774
Ontario, Canada

11 posted 2004-01-13 09:13 PM

"Perhaps an old Chinese witch
Who cursed the family there
And now stood guard to scare"

Ron, this is excellent. A snippet of time brought vividly to life. I could both feel and see the moment. You've captured it well with descriptive flair. Very nicely done indeed!

Best wishes,
/Kit

steavenr
Member Elite

since 2003-11-17

Posts 4058

12 posted 2004-01-13 09:48 PM

"I ate nothing
But the deserted air of that place
Now shuttered in newsprint
And found it a heavy meal
not likely to be easily digested"

Loved this. Well written and colorful. Loved the dis-ease word play. Nice.

iliana
Member Patricius

since 2003-12-05

Posts 13434
USA

13 posted 2004-01-13 10:54 PM

How awesome, the way you take something as ordinary as take-out chinese and turn it into an engrossing and wonderful story! Every bit of this poem is pure genius in my book! Libary time.

icequeen
Senior Member

since 2001-12-09

Posts 633
FL USA

14 posted 2004-01-13 11:09 PM

Awesome, this is. It is almost tactile, so well written that I smell asphalt and feel cold glass with newspaper behind it.

And I want egg rolls with hot mustard

Caroline

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean

since 1999-11-16

Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA

15 posted 2004-01-13 11:21 PM

Now I'm hungry for Chinese food...or perhaps a Chinese woman would satisfy my hunger...James

muted

Member Elite

since 2004-01-15

Posts 2949
Elapsing, Eclipsing, Evolving

16 posted 2004-01-16 03:52 PM

...for a moment, i was there..very "real", i was easily pulled in

kaile

Member Ascendant

since 2000-02-06

Posts 5146
singapore

17 posted 2004-01-17 12:32 PM

Cpat,

wow, poetry is really about anything and everything, as you have illustrated with this piece. i'm in awe

Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-12-27

Posts 8348
Florida

18 posted 2004-01-26 12:05 PM

Looks like I missed this one...

"sit on top of the world and tell me how you feel...'cause what you feel is what I feel for you.."
~Dido~

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