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Open Poetry #30

Variability

alan6501
Member

since 2004-01-03

Posts 89
PA

0 posted 2004-01-12 07:19 PM

VARIABILITY

Don't underestimate what I can do
Specifically what I can do to you
You're an expierement with my name on it
A guinea pig for complete control
I'll dose you with affection
And leave you gasping for more

Hallways in a complex mind
I have learned your maze
And before you know it
I'll have you in love with me
And then guess what I will do?
Cut it off in a harsh second

Leaving you gasping for more...

***********************************************

Not one of my strongest. What do you guys think?

Michelle_loves_Mike

Senior Member

since 2003-12-20

Posts 1189
Pennsylvania

1 posted 2004-01-13 07:50 AM

I'd have to say its pretty strong,,in a scarey way,,,,,the cruelty of building up a love/ trust,,,only to break it,,,,,makes me shiver to even say such a thing,,,
Michelle

I wish all could find the true happiness I have found,,in the eyes of Mike

McLean
Member

since 2004-01-05

Posts 484
state of marital bliss

2 posted 2004-01-18 06:47 AM

I think this is a cruel thing to do. What makes you so sure your variable will be gasping for more? Perhaps it is YOU who is the variable.

Ha!

McLean

alan6501
Member

since 2004-01-03

Posts 89
PA

3 posted 2004-01-18 12:44 PM

This poem seems like it was written in my perspective but it actually isn't. I'm the one who's left gasping for more. For some reason, the poem just came out like I was the one doing all the cruel stuff.

I would never do this to someone! I'm just not that mean!

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