Silver Lining Dreams - pipTalk Forums

How to Join	Member's Area	Private Library	Search	Sanctuary		Login
Main Forums	Discussion	Tech Talk	Mature Content	Archives	A home without a wall, Our haven without ends, A circle we all call Our Family of Friends!

Open Poetry #30

Silver Lining Dreams

Foxyoasis
Senior Member

since 2003-06-10

Posts 974
Atlantic Beach,Fla

0 posted 2004-01-09 05:21 AM

cloud beams and rays of blindness
tie my time together as i venture
out once again bound and broken

chains follow me as i take it
once again more and more
the key the key is in the
size of the smile that you
with hold trusting as it
seems to be

I know your just trying to
persude me the cruel intentions
with your lovely decor and your
plastic notions of humility

I see you through the mirror
time reflects what was and
what wish of what have been

shatters pieaces lay upon
the ground broken and laid
about like the broken hearts
of many
not edited yet so i know i have some errors just want an opinion on the 1st draft

Fool me once shame on you.....Fool me twice shame on me.....

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

1 posted 2004-01-09 05:25 AM

I think it's good...neat format, great theme

Foxyoasis
Senior Member

since 2003-06-10

Posts 974
Atlantic Beach,Fla

2 posted 2004-01-09 05:26 AM

Thank you

Terrina
Member

since 2003-12-31

Posts 166
California

3 posted 2004-01-09 01:13 PM

You are good. Specially for just speaking your mind on paper and sending it into the world. Sometimes editing things don't allow the real truth to surface. Sometimes you write and then edit out the parts that don't make you sound sane...those parts of the beauty.

	⇧ top of page ⇧
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.