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Open Poetry #30
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Antacids Coming Up (response to Iliana's Antacids Please)
| Open Poetry #30 |
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Antacids Coming Up (response to Iliana's Antacids Please) |
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LngJhnAg Member Elite
since 1999-07-23
Posts 3508Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion 
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Iliana, I hope you read my friend's apology and thereby understand him better after the mean way he treated you. I didn't think it was polite To upchuck the "meal" you made. I forced myself to keep you down Though my stomach was eaten away. I took three slugs of Alka Seltzer But the Pop Fizz must have broke. You had my stomach tied in knots, As you caught there in my throat. I tried to hug the porcelain bowl, Thinking some kneeling would do the trick. I wish I hadn't been so mean, Because you've made me awfully sick. I was insane, you drove me wild, I couldn't get enough of you. But then you wanted to see chick flicks, And football just wouldn't do. I played along with your desires, I watched the Steel Magnolias marathon. I went with you to Fabric Stores, And then to the Beauty salons. I swallowed all of my manly pride, As I visited women's clothing stores. When you caught me with bras and panties, I promised not to do it anymore. My fishing pole and hunting rifle, Haven't seen the light of day. I'm eating quiche and sipping wines, And choking down cheesecake. The heartaches that you're feeling now, May have left you feeling hollow. I want to let you out of my tummy, Because, Honey, you refuse to swallow!  Signed, Your friend, Balladeer heh, blowing bubbles indeed! [This message has been edited by LngJhnAg (01-09-2004 08:45 AM).] |
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Susan Caldwell Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348Florida |
hmmmmmmm...I feel as if I missed something.. "if you won't let me fall for you |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Watch out for that sharp pin, LJA... you never know when it's going to be sneaking up behind you! |
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McLean Member
since 2004-01-05
Posts 484state of marital bliss |
Who's in whose tummy? Whom is in who's tummy? Geez...you know what I'm asking! This is a funny thing you men folk do on here! What a lively bunch. |
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Nightshade 
since 2001-08-31
Posts 13962just out of reach |
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KristieSue
since 2003-01-31
Posts 1460PA, US |
lmao!!!! Failure isn't failure if a lesson from it is learned ~ KS |
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Toerag Member Ascendant
since 1999-07-29
Posts 5622Ala bam a |
You ain't right boy!!! |
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iliana Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434USA |
LJA - please tell Balladeer that I really appreciated his apology and thought the poem was extremely funny (actually liked some of it). However, kind sir, none of it was true! Better luck next time! Bubbles indeed! And swallowing, well I love bird watching! |
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LngJhnAg Member Elite
since 1999-07-23
Posts 3508Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion |
Iliana - ROFL@bird watching! That was a classic response from a classy lady. |
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iliana Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434USA |
Why, thank you, sir. Just for that sweet response, I'll send this back to the top and let others watch the war! |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Iliana, that's not true! I would never upchuck you. I'd keep you here without a fuss Tucked safe in my esophagus. I've heard that you're a gal of taste. To spit you out would be a waste. You'll never need to feel hurt.. You'll always be my best dessert. Forget that LongJohn. He's a jerk With many stunts that never work. He's never had a tasty morsel Cause he is such a flaming arsehole. Come reside within my chest. Don't worry where you come to rest. You'll see how sweet I really am When you are in my diaphram  |
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Youngatheart Member
since 2003-12-30
Posts 333 |
I think Balladeer has won this battle, LJ. I am laughing all the way to the medicine cabinet... Y. |
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LngJhnAg Member Elite
since 1999-07-23
Posts 3508Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion |
Iliana, I must quickly step in here, And warn you about old Balladeer. He'll play Emeril with your heart, While he dines on your better parts. He'll chop you, dice you, but wait, there's more, He'll throw in steak knives by the score. He'll shake you, bake you, while he plays, Then he'll turn you out like a puffed soufle. He'll swallow you, and there's a chance, He'll feed you to his studio fans. And if you wait, you'll be another page, In the recipe book he sells on stage. As if that treatment's not bad enough, He'll mount your body like a bear rug. You'll adorn his study by his fire place, With a silly look upon your face. I've tried to warn you the best I can, Balladeer "cooks" like no other man. I'm warning you because I give a dang, Don't become that 'Deer's hunger pang. heh - ol' 'Deer is gonna hang up his "apron" now! |
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Lorelei54 Member
since 1999-07-27
Posts 458 |
A beautiful poem by a beautiful man. heh, Using Lorelei's screen name to boost my readership is pure genious! |
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Youngatheart Member
since 2003-12-30
Posts 333 |
LMAO |
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LngJhnAg Member Elite
since 1999-07-23
Posts 3508Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion |
Another intelligent reader! Thank you for your obvious adulation of my wonderful talent. |
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garysgirl
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237Florida, USA |
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jaicie114 Senior Member
since 2003-09-27
Posts 750On the edge of forever |
Oy vey!!!! Love and Light...jc This I know as Truth...we are all Beings of Light. |
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Youngatheart Member
since 2003-12-30
Posts 333 |
LJ...was laughing too hard to respond |
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Bonnie j Senior Member
since 2003-06-27
Posts 1588Ohio |
Oh!Oh! The Two Musketeers of Badness ride again. Now wait a minute where's the Third Musketeer? LOL Love Bon  |
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Toerag Member Ascendant
since 1999-07-29
Posts 5622Ala bam a |
Pepcid, Zantac, Pepto-Tums, Stay away from these two bums They'll chew you up then spit you out, (At their age you'll give them gout) I for one am much more couth, I'd sip you down like Campbell's soup. Little nibbles, licks and kisses, Chase you down with wine that fizzes. LongJohn will wash you down with rum, And you're so sweet he'd weigh a ton. Balladeer drinks Mountain Dew, When he eats it "goes right through" I won't eat you all at once, A little now, some more for lunch. A sheepherder's dinner, something new, Just a little bit of "ewe"... |
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LngJhnAg Member Elite
since 1999-07-23
Posts 3508Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion |
OMG!! Toe actually wrote a really funny poem! Hey, everybody. Come look at this! Toe - That was a great poem! ROFL |
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Youngatheart Member
since 2003-12-30
Posts 333 |
LMAO ....again.... |
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Toerag Member Ascendant
since 1999-07-29
Posts 5622Ala bam a |
Uhhh...LongJohn,,that was the most "serious" and true poem I've ever written? |
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Bonnie j Senior Member
since 2003-06-27
Posts 1588Ohio |
Morning all......... Now I see the Third Musketeer of Badness. You sillies. You sure give us a good belly laugh. Love Bon |
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nakdthoughts Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200Between the Lines |
A beautiful poem by a beautiful man. heh, Using Lorelei's screen name to boost my readership is pure genious! what a great idea... you guys gave me my morning warmth on such a cold one... I missed all the fun last evening... this was great, all 3 of you... now I must go read Iliana hugs around M |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
ROFL... and a great big BRAVO to all participants! *S* |
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