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Open Poetry #30
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LongJohn's Blowing Bubbles
| Open Poetry #30 |
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LongJohn's Blowing Bubbles |
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Toerag Member Ascendant
since 1999-07-29
Posts 5622Ala bam a |
LongJohn loves his bathroom, It's his favorite place to be, His habits are unusual, As you're about to read. His actions are deplorable, His wife knows not what to do, What he does is horrible, And nauseating too. He stands there at the toilet, But whizzes on the wall, Sometimes he hits the heater, And they smell it in the hall. And all the time he's whizzin' He farts in harmony, He keeps a flatulent rhythm, He's a gastric symphony. He insists on blowing bubbles, Every time he's in the tub, If he isn't blowing bubbles, He's playin' rub-a-dub" It's a flatulent jacuzzi, He loves to make them rip, The water's stinkin' fizzy, His wife is having fits. She said "listen to me LongJohn, I thinks that's quite enough, Everytime you blow those bubbles, There's "rings" around the tub. If you insist on passing bubbles, Quit smoking them cigars, The stains inside your underwear, Are looking like brown tar". LongJohn still blew bubbles, Though he's running out of gas, But he is persistant, This couldn't be his last. He strained again for one last blow, Exhausting all his power, This time his bubbles came in lumps, He now takes only showers |
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Susan Caldwell Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348Florida |
LMAO oh thats disgusting! "if you won't let me fall for you |
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Mysteria 
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
Oh my!  Well your poetry is sure getting good at rhyming at their expense you old devil, you! Watch out for that pink eraser - duck! LOL[This message has been edited by Mysteria (01-07-2004 05:19 PM).] |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
*shaking my head* You just love to push the envelope, don't you? LOL (could you pay my bills while you're pushing all that paper? *G*) Who'll get you first... the eraser crew or your buddies two? *S* |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
I bet that the buddies will do him in... but it will be so much fun watching the dust! Still laughing, Toe! |
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Titia Geertman Member Ascendant
since 2001-05-07
Posts 5182Netherlands |
Did you hear me laugh Toe, alle the way from Dutchie land? LOL oh boy oh boy, you gonna get busted pal, one way or the other  Thank you for brighten up my rather dull evening  Titia Like scattered leaves...my words will flow |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Toe, Not your best and not your worst but all he'll do is moan and curse. |
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Nightshade
since 2001-08-31
Posts 13962just out of reach |
You are BAD.....you are so BAD. LOL.  |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
LongJohn's diet normally told What sounds the boy would make. When he ate a couple of hot dogs, The guy could play Swan Lake. Give him a bowl of chili And you could be quite sure Within an hour he could play The William Tell Overture!! Give him a bowl of baked beans And the sound could be quite sonic. A second bowl and he could match The London Philharmonic!!! The worst is a burrito.. It really lights his fire. He ate one once and drowned out The Mormon Tabernacle choir!!!! Poor LongJohn is quite musical - A maestro, or so he thinks But, like his life and lower lip, His music really stinks!! Thanks, Toe, for bringing this up. I have known about his, er, orchestrations for years but have not been cruel enough to expose him. You, I see, have no problem with that!!!! |
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garysgirl
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237Florida, USA |
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jaicie114 Senior Member
since 2003-09-27
Posts 750On the edge of forever |
Oh boy...here we go.... Love and Light...jc p.s. ewwwwwww!!!! This I know as Truth...we are all Beings of Light. |
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iliana Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434USA |
Speaking as a wife, grooooooooose! But, very funny and well penned! |
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Jason Lyle Senior Member
since 2003-02-07
Posts 1438With my darkling |
roflmao. Jason |
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LngJhnAg Member Elite
since 1999-07-23
Posts 3508Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion |
Ohhh, yeahhhh. This is TOTAL WAR! The gloves are off! I wanna piece of you two real bad. I have never been villified to such an ignoble degree. Never! A suitable response from me will require a certain amount of time because sinking to this level requires a long ride down in the Elevator of Depravity. |
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ice Member Elite
since 2003-05-17
Posts 3404Pennsylvania |
LMAO...potty poetry can be funny, attest this poem....fun stuff, I thought it could use a few lines about biting the bubbles before they pop, but I guess it is raunchy enough. ______ice ><> |
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Mysteria
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
 Oh, oh, here comes trouble! |
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Bill Charles Member Patricius
since 2000-07-11
Posts 10619highways, & byways, for now |
Toerag - He's blowing bubbles, laa la la, h'mmmmm.... BC |
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icequeen Senior Member
since 2001-12-09
Posts 633FL USA |
ROFLMAO OMGGGGG Toe & Deer...you guys are too much... I was giving the dogs a bath in their kiddie pool (they are NOT getting in my bathtub!) and one of them popped off a lil doggy poot and the bubbles scared him right out of the pool LOL Maybe Mrs LongJohn should get LJA a kiddie pool?? (JK JK!!!) lol  Caroline |
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Lorelei54 Member
since 1999-07-27
Posts 458 |
Oh, sure, EVERYBODY JUST PILE ON NOW!!!! Have none of you any decency? [insert phony crocodile tears here] Can none of you see what scoundrels these two scalawags have become? [add emotes here showing shock]. |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
LOL! Very clever...LongJohn imitating Lorelei....she would NEVER call Balladeer a scalawag!! Nice try, sailor  |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
lol |
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Youngatheart Member
since 2003-12-30
Posts 333 |
Icequeen, that story is soooooooooooooo funny....almost as funny as the war between....now who is it against today...? Long John against Balladeer and Toerag or Long John and Toerag against Balladeer....let me get my program. |
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Foxyoasis Senior Member
since 2003-06-10
Posts 974Atlantic Beach,Fla |
LMAO funny stuff Fool me once shame on you.....Fool me twice shame on me..... |
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UniqueFreak Member
since 2004-01-09
Posts 62Scotland |
hahaha!!! thats a giggle! Stephi |
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scorpio Member Ascendant
since 2002-10-02
Posts 5178right...there |
All i can do is shake my head..and laugh out loud. believe in what your heart feels... |
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