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Shlee
Member

since 2003-02-16

Posts 72
USA

0 posted 2004-01-05 08:30 PM

So long have I been gone,
Almost a year!
So long have I yearned,
Wanting time to write.
My heart has been anxious,
My fingers, itching to be released.
So busy have I been,
Not one moment to breathe!
But now I am returned,
Hoping my stay will last.
Wondering just maybe,
May this visit at least be longer?
Time only will tell.
For now, I sit to enjoy
Whatever time I can take.
Finally, able again to do what I love.

alan6501
Member

since 2004-01-03

Posts 89
PA

1 posted 2004-01-05 08:37 PM

It's Ok but I think my suggestion would be to try to say these words in a tad more unique way. I think it's biggest "problem" is just the plain way it has with its words.

Just a suggestion. Not that I'm a professional or anything!

wintertao
Member

since 2003-11-17

Posts 366
Okaloosa Island, FL

2 posted 2004-01-05 08:39 PM

I agree with alan, nice but needs some more descriptive, creative lines.

Shlee
Member

since 2003-02-16

Posts 72
USA

3 posted 2004-01-05 08:42 PM

Thanks guys

I appreciate your honesty. Like my post says, it's been quite a while since I've written so this was kind of a "warmup" to see where I was. Hmmm, more description? I'll see what I can do

Marge Tindal

Member Empyrean

since 1999-11-06

Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores

4 posted 2004-01-05 08:48 PM

Shlee~
Welcome back to writing !!!
I like the sheer HONESTY of your thoughts~
*Huglets*

~*Marge*~

~*When the heart grieves over what it has lost,
the spirit rejoices over what it has left.
- Sufi epigram
[email protected]

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean

since 1999-11-16

Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA

5 posted 2004-01-06 03:34 AM

Enjoy...James

ambrish
Member

since 2003-03-27

Posts 257
India

6 posted 2004-01-06 03:57 AM

nice write welcome again.

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

7 posted 2004-01-06 04:27 AM

neat and clean

good write

LngJhnAg
Member Elite

since 1999-07-23

Posts 3508
Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion

8 posted 2004-01-06 08:59 AM

Welcome back, Shlee. And now the good news, Balladeer and Toerag have not been reformed. They are still scalawags!

Shlee
Member

since 2003-02-16

Posts 72
USA

9 posted 2004-01-09 09:43 AM

Thanks, I'm glad you all enjoyed it. Hehe, still scalawags, huh?

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