»
Archives
»
Open Poetry #30
»
Adamou (Garden of Eden)
| Open Poetry #30 |
|
Adamou (Garden of Eden) |
|
|
Ravenwolfvoyager Member
since 2003-12-25
Posts 326 |
Displacement of tears that weep before a vine filled glass, Suffers no movement to a broken hearts cast. Our adornment was the sharing of a completed soul, And a communal orchard where scarlet apples seem to grow. Your eyes were that of a little girl’s virtuousness, In sought of protection from the world’s vindictiveness. You beheld me as the inviolability, protector from your earthly troubles, Only to bind me within the caverns of its foundations rubble. Dispel my cry for the pieces of a concerto I had known, So that I may reach for its notes and summon it as my own. Lost in the music and cradled in a candle lit dine, I sadly toast farewell to the hand that once held mine. [This message has been edited by Ravenwolfvoyager (01-07-2004 06:50 PM).] |
||
| © Copyright 2004 Ravenwolfvoyager - All Rights Reserved | |||
|
ThisDiamond Member Rara Avis
since 2002-02-22
Posts 9353Michigan, USA |
Oh...such a long and difficult process to release the entwined emotions and give services to the loss of what is so special. Your writes are so full and rich with insight and they flow, just as the rivers to the sea. TD |
||
|
McLean Member
since 2004-01-05
Posts 484state of marital bliss |
I never really cared for the Dooby Brothers. Or was it "Doobie"? Your title brought that thought to mind. This is a really despairing write. Beautiful, in the orchard as it is, but sad. Your word choices are evident of a well-thought out scenario. McLean |
||
|
Ravenwolfvoyager Member
since 2003-12-25
Posts 326 |
Thank you McClean and ThisDiamond for the kind words. I sincerely appreciate the encouragement from everyone to write and the the circle of friendship that I've found here. (I changed the title to a more fitting portrayal of what I was attempting to convey.) Thank you again McClean and ThisDiamond and everyone for your ongoing encouragement. Truly everyone here is a gifted writer and I am in awe to be in your company. Thank you!! [This message has been edited by Ravenwolfvoyager (01-07-2004 06:34 PM).] |
||
|
Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
RWV ....I can't say it any better then TD, she has such a way with replies. This is both beautiful and poignant, certainly enjoyed! |
||
Marge Tindal 
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Jeff~ WOW !!! Such a layered penning~ Enjoyed the all of it~ *Huglets*  ~*Marge*~ ~*When the heart grieves over what it has lost, |
||
|
suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
You beheld me as the inviolability, protector from your earthly troubles, Only to bind me within the caverns of its foundations rubble. And how many times has this recurred since the fall from grace? *S* I like this so very much... excellent write! |
||
|
Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Ravenwolfvoyager Well done, enjoyed the read. |
||
|
vandana
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463USA |
nice read  |
||
garysgirl
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237Florida, USA |
Dispel my cry for the pieces of a concerto I had known, So that I may reach for its notes and summon it as my own. Lost in the music and cradled in a candle lit dine, I sadly toast farewell to the hand that once held mine. Jeff, this is so very beautiful, though it is sad. It is so well written.  Hugs Ethel |
||
|
jaicie114 Senior Member
since 2003-09-27
Posts 750On the edge of forever |
RWV...absolutely and soulfully beautiful...as usual. Thank you! Love and Light...jc This I know as Truth...we are all Beings of Light. |
||
|
iliana Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434USA |
"You beheld me as the inviolability, protector from your earthly troubles, Only to bind me within the caverns of its foundations rubble." Such contrast in this poem -- from a vulnerable little girl to jailer -- and so well written. As always, thanks for the read. |
||
|
Suetang Member Ascendant
since 2001-03-07
Posts 5187Melbourne, Australia |
Hello Ravenwolf An amazing piece of writing that touched deep inside my heart. PIP is so much richer for having you share your talent and your heart with us. Take care.......Sue I am in motion |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
