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Open Poetry #30
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Snow
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since 2000-10-16
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desert flower looking for rain

0 posted 2004-01-06 02:58 AM



hello_ohhhh

it was nothing more
than the moment
between the H
and the release of
a southern
O
yet, in that space
time stood still
a breath
snagged itself to
my windpipe
and lips
open to receive and
give
fell silent
though tingled with
all the unsaid fruit
i wished for you
to taste
   who i am
with your,
hello_ohhhh

*smile*
©snow'04
off the cuff


"...why does my skeleton pursue me
if my soul has fallen away?"
~p.neruda


© Copyright 2004 Snow - All Rights Reserved
passing shadows
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since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
1 posted 2004-01-06 05:03 AM


sweeet!
Michelle_loves_Mike
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Pennsylvania
2 posted 2004-01-06 08:24 AM


lotta ways you could go with this one,,,,,thats wonderful,,,,,for me,,it relates to every morning when i hear the words"hello baby" come from my fiance,,,,,
good stuff
Michelle

I wish all could find the true happiness I have found,,in the eyes of Mike

LngJhnAg
Member Elite
since 1999-07-23
Posts 3508
Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion
3 posted 2004-01-06 08:44 AM


I agree with Micky on this one - there are so many ways to go with this, which makes it so much the better.  Great writing.
KoKo
Senior Member
since 2003-02-15
Posts 995
Inside the shadow's shadow
4 posted 2004-01-06 09:02 AM



Marge Tindal
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Florida's Foreverly Shores
5 posted 2004-01-06 09:56 AM


LadySnow~
Soooooooooo softly done~
*Huglets*
~*Marge*~

~*When the heart grieves over what it has lost,
the spirit rejoices over what it has left.
- Sufi epigram
         noles1@totcon.com

Seymour Tabin
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since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
6 posted 2004-01-06 09:59 AM


Snow
Well done, enjoyed.

Sunshine
Administrator
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since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
7 posted 2004-01-06 10:03 AM



Off the cuff?  Dang!
Enjoyed!

Enchantress
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since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
8 posted 2004-01-06 10:27 AM


Oooh myyyyyy...this is wonderful!
Hugs~

    In the midst of winter..
I found there lives within me,
    an invincible summer.

Snow
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since 2000-10-16
Posts 1170
desert flower looking for rain
9 posted 2004-01-06 11:27 AM


thank you all very much.

i believe in layering my pieces so that there is no black and white ... i like shades of grey and i love to see the take other people get ...

this piece is meant to be taken in more than one way... i'm glad it was seen that way.

again, thank you!

snow.
enchantress... i love the Albert Camus quote .. it's been a favorite of mine for a very long time.

"...why does my skeleton pursue me
if my soul has fallen away?"
~p.neruda


Edder
Senior Member
since 2003-04-02
Posts 671

10 posted 2004-01-06 12:48 PM


you knew this would bring me out of the shadows, didn't you?
Nightshade
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Member Patricius
since 2001-08-31
Posts 13962
just out of reach
11 posted 2004-01-06 01:45 PM


Very nice indeed Snow. Enjoyed. Chris

"At the touch of love everyone becomes a poet."
-Plato



    

Snow
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since 2000-10-16
Posts 1170
desert flower looking for rain
12 posted 2004-01-06 03:36 PM


chris, thank you ... i'm glad the piece was enjoyed :-)


~~~~


as for you my friend.. you

were never meant to be in the shadows in the first place... so if this did the trick, well then....




*smirk*

"...why does my skeleton pursue me
if my soul has fallen away?"
~p.neruda


Edder
Senior Member
since 2003-04-02
Posts 671

13 posted 2004-01-07 11:42 AM


But shadows are good, nice and quiet there. *grin*
Ravenwolfvoyager
Member
since 2003-12-25
Posts 326

14 posted 2004-01-07 06:54 PM


An awesome write Snow, you do wonderful work!!
garysgirl
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since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237
Florida, USA
15 posted 2004-01-07 07:41 PM


Snow, I really like this one...and yes, it
could be read many different ways.
Hugs  
Ethel

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