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Open Poetry #30
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Sable Heart
| Open Poetry #30 |
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Sable Heart |
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xaos Junior Member
since 2004-01-05
Posts 35 |
Sable Heart. Oh Sable Heart, Tendrils of ice, like frosted art, your crown, the beating shroud, of dark herald, poisoned by vice, my cold emerald, your shrine, the never divine., Yet those dreams, silver, gold and evergreen, like Sirens scream, your sound, clenched, proud. Oh Sable Heart, veins of light, rise from the dark, her ground, intoxicating, profound, the blind herald, drowns in delight, let fire forget embers, your rhythm, beautiful, dazzling; interim, but Sable Heart, one lost kiss, 'tween winters start, your beat, may soon repeat. *not sure if I actually like this myself or not! |
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| © Copyright 2004 Karl Dammer - All Rights Reserved | |||
Michelle_loves_Mike
since 2003-12-20
Posts 1189Pennsylvania |
xaos,,,,,, what don't you like about it? and what do you like? Michelle I wish all could find the true happiness I have found,,in the eyes of Mike |
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ThisDiamond Member Rara Avis
since 2002-02-22
Posts 9353Michigan, USA |
I know this path, and understand the terrain of this heart. I like it! TD |
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garysgirl 
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237Florida, USA |
I like this, too. I've found that most writers don't much like their own work. Thanks for sharing.  Hugs  Ethel [This message has been edited by garysgirl (01-06-2004 07:08 PM).] |
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xaos Junior Member
since 2004-01-05
Posts 35 |
Thanks everyone  Don't know exactly what I don't like. I think the words are right but the meter doesn't seem to end where it should as I read it. I wanted it to by rythmic like a heart, but it seems to have cardiac arrest! |
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BluesSerenade Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549By the Seaside |
What do you mean, what's not to like about this? (Besides the cardiac arrest) Ha! This is svelte, and quite a lovely piece of poetry! |
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