LongJohn was at a restaurant when he felt a nature call
So he hurried to the bathroom and he settled in a stall.
Horseradish on his mashed potatoes didn't settle well.
Poor John made funny faces as his tummy went through hell.

He sat there for a little while just trying to do his biz
When he heard a man's voice whisper from the stall right next to his.
"How you doing, sweetheart?", were the words he heard and then
Poor LongJohn got so flustered that his bowels went nuts again!!

He sat there for a minute trying not to make a sound.
He hadn't realized that there was someone else around!
Then once again he heard the man's voice coming from his right
"So tell me, little baby, how you feeling tonight?"

"Er, fine" squeaked LongJohn, sweat now pouring down his pockmarked cheeks.
What luck to wind up sitting next to one of nature's freaks!
"I'd love to touch your skin", the man said, whispering again.
"I'm sorry", LongJohn gurgled," I don't mess around with men."

"How about we get together later on tonight?"
"Forget it", LongJohn stammered, face now frozen with pure fright.
"I give a great massage and I could rub your cares away..."
Poor LongJohn felt his stomach burn as he screamed out, "NO WAY!"

LongJohn wiped quickly as he could - he couldn't take no more!
He pulled his pants up quickly and he reached out for the door.
"Hey, hon, I'll have to call you back", the man said, angrily.
"Some pervert in another stall keeps trying to talk to me!!!"