Open Poetry #29 |
Too Selfish |
nakdthoughts Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200Between the Lines |
Too Selfish Today brought me closer to a tomorrow that I don't wish to see. I remember years ago when I would be asked if she was my mother, I would feel a stabbing pain inside hoping she didn't hear it. For I always looked younger than my years, and she always older. On the poorer side of yesterday, I showed her a ring I bought to replace my wedding band, and asked her what she thought of it. Of course she thought it more valuable than it was. And I smiled, until I noticed her fingers were empty of hers. Just last week she couldn't get them off from swelling and her medications, one biting into her skin. Today she is two pounds lighter, way too thin. She mentioned our Mother coming up within a week or two for a stay... My hope is fading and I am trying so hard to not let it show. ~~*~~ "Why", you are probably thinking, "am I posting these feelings...why not be consoled in real?" And my response is because there is no one in real close to me to share, except for the one who left me for another, but feeds off of my existence and I am too selfish to let him back in. M "Love is not blind - It sees more and not less, but because it sees more, it is willing to see less." |
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© Copyright 2003 Wynter Bliss - All Rights Reserved | |||
littlewing Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655New York |
Maureen; know that you are not alone this got me me . . . so much . . . I know . . . I am with you here all the way xxoo |
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SharaRose Member Elite
since 2003-07-19
Posts 2501Somewhere out there~ |
Sometimes not all things you are going through can you share with family anyway, or even close friends they wouldn't understand the dynamics behind it and why make them feel inadequate? I do understand. I think when people TRULY care they won't see it as selfish, they will see it as an opportunityto reach out to someone. Sending a God Bless, SharaRose @-->-- Of sound, and speech let all lift the hearer! [This message has been edited by SharaRose (09-27-2003 07:02 PM).] |
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garysgirl
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237Florida, USA |
Maureen, this sincerely touched my heart. Sweet lady, I just don't have the words to say... except that I'm here if you need me. Heart hugs Ethel |
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SmartChick Member Rara Avis
since 2001-09-23
Posts 7081On A Journey To The Unknown |
Maureen, my friend, I am always there for you. I hope you know that. You know where to find me. Hugs to you. |
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Saunni Senior Member
since 2000-07-11
Posts 1777West Virginia |
You are never alone and can feel free to come to anyone of us at anytime. Sincerely, Sauni. Sauni:)The Only Time I See The Sun Is When I'm Within That Vanilla Breeze.The Only Time I'm One With The Sun Is When He Shelters Me From The Rain. |
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Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Sweetie~ I'm as real as they come ... these shoulders have room for a friend ANY TIME~ Love you and praying real big~ *Huglets* ~*Marge*~ ~*When the heart grieves over what it has lost, |
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icebox Member Elite
since 2003-05-03
Posts 4383in the shadows |
Selfish is not always bad. Sometimes though it is the harder road and the one worth taking. We all wish you well. |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
I don't know about that...why should you confide in someone close to you if they have proved they can't be trusted...soft thoughts from the heart should be valued...James |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
I wish I could be there in real |
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Honeybunch Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-29
Posts 7115South Africa |
One must truly wonder what this life is all about sometimes. Your words are deeply moving. Take care. |
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vlraynes Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229Somewhere... out there... |
Maureen, my friend...your feelings are ALWAYS welcome here. The 'real' of my heart is reaching out to yours. Please know that I care...truly. Love and hugs to you, ~Vicky When the power of love overcomes the |
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
Maureen One might call that selfish survival.....I didn't quite understand it all but it's a real good read and the depth of your feelings come right out of the words. Eric The best teachers have the biggest ears |
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Bill Charles Member Patricius
since 2000-07-11
Posts 10619highways, & byways, for now |
nakdthoughts - your writings are always meaningful. I don't believe you're being selfish... BC |
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Aimster Member Elite
since 2000-02-19
Posts 4297Charlotte, NC |
M, this got to me...you are not being selfish, you are protecting your heart and I don't blame you...there was such sadness in this. I am here if you ever want to talk. I know what you're going through all too well. take care. amy "love is like a butterfly-- |
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n2dmystic Member
since 2003-09-27
Posts 253beyond the doors of perception |
that was a wonderfully sad, heartwrenching write. You are not being selfish, you deserve the best that life has to offer. thank you for sharing yourself Peace, Joe |
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Mysteria
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
Maureen - I know load and it hurts like hell. It is wonderful you can share what you are feeling and trust me these compasionate people are very much real. Your pain will grow, as will the feelings that spill out, and know we are all right here to share the pain with you and try to lighten the load. Sending understanding, acceptance, strength, endurance, and above all love to hold you two together in this final stage of compassion and love. Take care of you too. |
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James_A_Fraser Senior Member
since 2003-09-03
Posts 972Out Making Anticlines |
Snif...almost every today can do that. I know it well, but there are a very vew tomorrows that point toward absolute wonder --catch 'em all! |
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