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Jaime Fradera
Senior Member

since 2000-11-25

Posts 843
Where no tyranny is tolerable

0 posted 2003-11-08 07:03 PM

April

by Jaime Fradera

April
1:
It is afternoon,
And for some reason I am festive.
I feel the distant heat
Of a Sun low in the sky.
I am wading in a shallow pool
Of blood-warm seawater.
I feel the shifting crumbling sand
Between my toes,
Beneath my feet,
The sandy bottom shaking,
Rumbling,
With the elemental thunder
Of the sea.
It vaguely dawns on me
Why I am there ..
Why I don't want to be there,
That eventually
I will encounter April,
That I know what she will want,
What I will have to do,
Dive into the water
While turning inside out,
And if I try something like that
I will surely drown.

As I splash and play delightedly,
I find thick and mushy bubble-blobbs
Suspended in the water.
They smell sweet, like fudge,
Feel like warm quivering Jell-O,
Or like candy that has not yet set.
But I don't think it's safe to eat them
Since I don't know what they are.
They might be dangerous or nasty,
Like jellyfish.
Still, I am fascinated by them!
They are strange and beautiful.
What are they? ...
Where are they coming from?
I decide to find out.
I look for more of them.
I walk around,
Running my hands,
Combing my fingers through the water.
Suddenly I stumble
Over a great enormous bubble,
So thick, so fleshy
That I can not run my fingers through it,
So wide
I can not even reach across it.
And it seems richer
Than all the other candy bubbles
In the water.

2:
Are you ready?
I am startled.
It is April.
And The bottom caves alarmingly.
And the waves
Seem a little higher,
And the water
Feels a little deeper.
Are you ready?
Is that annoyance,
Irritation in her voice?
I briefly think
What it would be like to hold her,
But she is imposing, demanding and severe;
She wouldn't understand it anyway.
I dismiss the thought at once.
Are you ready?
I have to get away.
If I could only find the shallows ...
The shallows? ...
Then I realize
That I don't know where I am.
I don't even know
Which way will take me out,
And the bottom shudders violently,
As if to make me fall into the water,
And I am very frightened.
I am going to drown.
Are you ready?
Is she sneering at me?
I'm know I'm going to drown ...
I'm going to ... ...
In raw, primeval terror,
Flailing my arms wildly,
About to lose my balance,
I try running frantically
Through the roiling chest deep water,
Stumbling off in one direction,
Then in another;
But I just blunder
Into even deeper water.
I'm going to drown ...
I'm going to ... ...
I ... I ... I'm ... I ...I ...
My heart races uncontrollably,
My breath coming in gasps.
NO! ... ... No!! ... ... NO!!! ... NNNNNNNNN ...

Are you ready?
Suddenly the bottom is gone
And I pitch forward.
I know I'm going to drown.
I have no choice
But to dive into the water
And start turning inside out.
Then I realize
That I forgot to breathe before the dive,
And I get stuck in the maneuver.
I can't complete the task,
And now I'm out of air,
And my terror turns to panic.
I'm going to drown ...
The most terrifying death I can imagine.
And Time and Space
Have lost all meaning ...
Reflexively I gulp in water,
Choking and gagging,
Kicking and thrashing.

3:
Then April reaches out.
She takes my hands.
She pulls me from the water.
She takes me in her outstretched arms.
And in the moment that she takes my life,
She gives to me her own.
It's okay ...
It's okay ...
It's okay ...
Be still ...
Be still ...
Be still ...

Jaime

Jes
Member

since 2003-10-21

Posts 422
Denmark

1 posted 2003-11-08 07:13 PM

WOW This had emotions and thoughts
But still there fell a tear, because of taht fear.

Smile, or better smiling with tears, thanks for sharing.

Jes

Margherita
Member Seraphic

since 2003-02-08

Posts 22236
Eternity

2 posted 2003-11-09 09:10 AM

Full of suspense, well written. In the end the stillness is so comforting, breath returns to normal.
Love, Margherita

Midnitesun

Member Empyrean

since 2001-05-18

Posts 28647
Gaia

3 posted 2003-11-09 09:24 AM

I'm gasping at this imagery, Jaime. What a nightmare!
So this is what you've been up to lately, heh? Is it the result of too many take-out food orders? LOL
Glad you came up for air, and to share.
Good thing it's really November.

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