Open Poetry #29 |
Flowers On A Motel Floor |
icebox Member Elite
since 2003-05-03
Posts 4383in the shadows |
I waited a lifetime for you that night; it's silly that I know the decade and can't get the year quite right. I don't make many promises, so I had to learn that those who do expect to break as many as they keep; I waited until I died alone that night in a cheap rented bed; before dawn you called and said, "Will you open the door?" My heart was already dead two futures had begun again unknown, disconnected, truth or lies didn't matter anymore. You never believed me when I said your feelings ran through me, from fire to ice, until that night I thought you knew me; that's why always I understood your lies, always you thought it was your eyes that gave you away, but I could have been blind and still unwrapped your mind like the petals of a rose. ©2003 by icebox |
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© Copyright 2003 icebox - All Rights Reserved | |||
Pilgrimage Member Elite
since 2001-12-04
Posts 3945Texas, USA |
That's one of the saddest poems I've ever read. And beautiful, did I mention that? Beautiful. Nan (Pilgrim variety) |
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BluesSerenade Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549By the Seaside |
I adore your poetry....I really do! Makes me want to reply to each and every single line. You are so good!!! icebox~ (and I'm so glad you're here, shhhhhh) |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
icebox You look deep and write the heart so well. |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
an awesomely sad/beautiful one |
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Magicmystery Senior Member
since 2002-02-13
Posts 821Windsor, Ontario, Canada |
This was such a sad poem... I suppose your feelings and your love for her waned as you plucked each petal of each rose and flicked it to the floor.... counting the minutes like hours.... days.... years....... ........Tears Awesome write dear Poet!!! And Heartbreaking. Sherry
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Honeybunch Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-29
Posts 7115South Africa |
Icebox, I have the same problem with a particular rose in my life. On the outside a prize winning specimen - how come only I can see (feel) the worm?? You always dig down deep and use your gift to its fullest. Thank you! |
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ice Member Elite
since 2003-05-17
Posts 3404Pennsylvania |
Great poetry reminds me of other great poetry...This one recalls in my mind the lines of a Frost poem... "Some say the world will end in fire; Some say in ice. From what I've tasted of desire I hold with those who favor fire." I believe you are one of those who "favor fire" But a hint is, that it does not really matter... " You never believed me when I said your feelings ran through me, from fire to ice" And that ice was acceptable also as long as love was present at the end... (RLF) "But if it had to perish twice, I think I know enough of hate To know that for destruction ice Is also great And would suffice." Thank you for allowing my brain to analyze, even if I am way off in my assesment... >>>ice<<< |
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nakdthoughts Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200Between the Lines |
makes me want to cry.... M |
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Susan Caldwell Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348Florida |
Ahhhhhhhh Icy, I have known flowers on a hotel floor...and more..like my dignity..like my tears...like my soul... oh you make me think! Love ya mister! "if you won't let me fall for you |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
"always you thought it was your eyes that gave you away, but I could have been blind and still unwrapped your mind like the petals of a rose." Fantastic piece...I love this! This poem aches to be held. ~Soft smiles & Hugs, Nancy~ ~Time has cast a spell on you, |
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littlewing Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655New York |
Good God icey . . we have all been blind yet saw at the same time . . . It is ibvious that heart of yours is still very much alive *smile* Thank God xxoo |
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Magnus
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135South Carolina, USA |
You learn it over time, huh? That sense that tells you that it isn't true....sometimes getting burned a few times before you have that ability to know when it isn't the truth.. A suck feel, huh? Written well, you are a master of this type of material... |
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Temptress
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-06-15
Posts 7136Mobile, AL |
beautifully sad devouring your work with my heart as usual. I LOVE YOU! I LOVE YOU! I LOVE YOU! |
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Ratleader
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass |
This one hurts -- the little klicking noises in the background are probably a heart getting cracks in it.... Well conceived and well delivered, and I hope it isn't entirely biographical. ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº> ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº> |
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Gina Culliney Member
since 2003-03-08
Posts 170 |
It seems some people run from love, while other's just wait a lifetime holding their breath. Well penned, sir, indeed! |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
This reminds me of a short afternoon with a dozen roses that I spent at Knott's Berry Farm...James |
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