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Open Poetry #29
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icebox
Member Elite
since 2003-05-03
Posts 4383
in the shadows

0 posted 2003-11-01 11:57 PM



I waited a lifetime for you that night;
it's silly that I know the decade
and can't get the year quite right.
I don't make many promises,
so I had to learn that those who do
expect to break as many as they keep;
I waited until I died
alone that night
in a cheap rented bed;
before dawn you called
and said,
"Will you open the door?"
My heart was already dead
two futures had begun
again unknown,
disconnected,
truth or lies
didn't matter anymore.
You never believed me
when I said
your feelings ran through me,
from fire to ice,
until that night I thought you knew me;
that's why
always I understood your lies,
always you  thought
it was your eyes that gave you away,
but I could have been blind
and still unwrapped your mind
like the petals of a rose.

©2003 by icebox



© Copyright 2003 icebox - All Rights Reserved
Pilgrimage
Member Elite
since 2001-12-04
Posts 3945
Texas, USA
1 posted 2003-11-02 12:02 PM


That's one of the saddest poems I've ever read.  And beautiful, did I mention that? Beautiful.

Nan (Pilgrim variety)

BluesSerenade
Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549
By the Seaside
2 posted 2003-11-02 12:09 PM


I adore your poetry....I really do!
Makes me want to reply to each and every single line.

You are so good!!!  icebox~  
(and I'm so glad you're here, shhhhhh)

Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
3 posted 2003-11-02 12:48 PM


icebox

You look deep and write the heart so well.

passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
4 posted 2003-11-02 02:02 AM


an awesomely sad/beautiful one
Magicmystery
Senior Member
since 2002-02-13
Posts 821
Windsor, Ontario, Canada
5 posted 2003-11-02 02:08 AM


This was such a sad poem... I suppose your feelings and your love for her waned as you plucked each petal of each rose and flicked it to the floor.... counting the minutes like hours.... days.... years.......
........Tears

Awesome write dear Poet!!! And Heartbreaking.

Sherry


Honeybunch
Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-29
Posts 7115
South Africa
6 posted 2003-11-02 03:12 AM


Icebox, I have the same problem with a particular rose in my life.  On the outside a prize winning specimen - how come only I can see (feel) the worm??  You always dig down deep and use your gift to its fullest.  Thank you!
ice
Member Elite
since 2003-05-17
Posts 3404
Pennsylvania
7 posted 2003-11-02 07:17 AM


Great poetry reminds me of other great poetry...This one recalls in my mind  the lines of a Frost poem...

"Some say the world will end in fire;
Some say in ice.
From what I've tasted of desire
I hold with those who favor fire."

I believe you are one of those who "favor fire" But a hint is, that it does not really matter...

" You never believed me
when I said
your feelings ran through me,
from fire to ice"

And that ice was acceptable also as long as love was present at the end...

(RLF)
"But if it had to perish twice,
I think I know enough of hate
To know that for destruction ice
Is also great
And would suffice."

Thank you for allowing my brain to analyze, even if I am way off in my assesment...

>>>ice<<<



nakdthoughts
Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200
Between the Lines
8 posted 2003-11-02 08:31 AM


makes me want to cry....

M

Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348
Florida
9 posted 2003-11-02 09:43 AM


Ahhhhhhhh Icy, I have known flowers on a hotel floor...and more..like my dignity..like my tears...like my soul...

oh you make me think!

Love ya mister!

"if you won't let me fall for you
then you won't see the best that I would love to do for you"
~Dido~

Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
10 posted 2003-11-02 09:49 AM


"always you  thought
it was your eyes that gave you away,
but I could have been blind
and still unwrapped your mind
like the petals of a rose."


Fantastic piece...I love this!
This poem aches to be held.
~Soft smiles & Hugs, Nancy~

~Time has cast a spell on you,
  So you won't ever forget me~

littlewing
Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655
New York
11 posted 2003-11-02 10:16 AM


Good God icey . .  
we have all been blind yet saw
at the same time . . .
It is ibvious that heart of
yours is still very much alive
*smile*
Thank God
xxoo

Magnus
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135
South Carolina, USA
12 posted 2003-11-02 10:29 AM


You learn it over time, huh?  That sense that
tells you that it isn't true....sometimes
getting burned a few times before you have
that ability to know when it isn't the
truth..

A suck feel, huh?  Written well,  you are
a master of this type of material...

Temptress
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-06-15
Posts 7136
Mobile, AL
13 posted 2003-11-02 07:56 PM


beautifully sad

devouring your work with my heart as usual.

I LOVE YOU! I LOVE YOU! I LOVE YOU!


Ratleader
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026
Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass
14 posted 2003-11-03 04:04 PM


This one hurts -- the little klicking noises in the background are probably a heart getting cracks in it....

Well conceived and well delivered, and I hope it isn't entirely biographical.

~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>   ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>  ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº>    ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº>
______________Ratleader______________

Gina Culliney
Member
since 2003-03-08
Posts 170

15 posted 2003-11-03 05:43 PM


It seems some people run from love, while other's just wait a lifetime holding their breath.  Well penned, sir, indeed!
JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
16 posted 2003-11-03 06:06 PM


This reminds me of a short afternoon with a dozen roses that I spent at Knott's Berry Farm...James
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