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Open Poetry #29
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digging through the bones (for Cpat)
| Open Poetry #29 |
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digging through the bones (for Cpat) |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738
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simple just the means of ease a matter of convenience a ragged slice there in the screen-- where I drop the proof of feast denying terminology glut and sloth removed from eye a graveyard in my flowerbed. I protest my innocence-- appearances are everything a flick of hand a fan's disdain: "gibberish and bosh" exclaimed-- but skeletons don't lie... whisper chatter teeth in breeze scratchings at my window speak ticking tock relentlessly silences have learned to scream begging a return to sleep to find the dream still in my reach-- if only I dream quick enough-- digging through the bones. |
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| © Copyright 2003 serenity blaze - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Aenimal Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350the ass-end of space |
oh these ones.. silences have learned to scream begging a return to sleep to find the dream still in my reach-- if only I dream quick enough-- i claim these ones i want them as mine |
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Sadelite Member Elite
since 2003-10-11
Posts 2519 |
Hey there, serenity blaze, I thought i'd drop by after your dare to say hi. O.k. "Hi." Especially like the second verse. Hey, are you able to see the auroras bureleous (hopefully that's right sp.) tonight. There's a good chance we can catch it in the northern sky tonight. Hope so--nothing yet in southern Ohio. Sadie |
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littlewing Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655New York |
a graveyard in my flowerbed. and digging through the bones if this is what I think it is of then my hat to you K for being the Lady you are and to Ron for the content of this write *smile* Now I have probably just confused you both what I saw here . . . was a "scoff" at the "word" xxoo [This message has been edited by littlewing (10-30-2003 03:51 AM).] |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
I think I can hear his reaction now... as for me? Smiling at your ingenuity to raise a ghost. |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
(chuckling).. Witch... ya know I love ya... but you can do better with the idea than this... this is good enough, but good enough isn't what I expect from you...  now..where was that little icon you keep sending to me??? oh yeah.. this piece... has promise, but you took an easy way out in the ending and in some ways denied what you know how to do, by taking an obvious spin on the last part of the idea I sent you... like you were just trying to make it fit... not like it has an integrated meaning to the whole.. Sue is right in that it is mocking... but it mocks what I know you can do more than anythng else... try again... and this time... mean it.. LMAO |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
Serenity enters, shaking her head with a pained expression. "Do ya'll believe this guy? The noive!" And actually, Cap? This wasn't my first obvious choice either--I believe the first rendition of the skeletal metaphor had something to do with the fate of men who had taunted me previously.  (serenity exits, licking her lips in fond memory...) BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA (to be continued?) |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
no, I assumed you used this choice in part because it follows an easy path to use the idea..and it adds a bit of macabre imagery to fuel your own enjoyment of the season. as for those men who have taunted you..lol.. you mean there are men who have and that are still alive? I would assume those remains would want to remain un-named and you would plead the 5th now go write something worthy of your talent and quit trying to pass off second rate stuff on your fans... show us your heart kid... and strip your soul bare so we can sit and ogle, do our ohs and ahs.. wish we could write like you do, and we'll devour on more tiny sliver of your being while we are at it... writing is such a healthy thing... where else do you get all the benifets of a good old fashion self flogging and leeching?? |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
"where else do you get all the benifets of a good old fashion self flogging and leeching??" You want I should draw you a map? and okay, okay, point well taken. Don't tell anybody but I do hold your opinion in high regard. But it's still not all that clear to me. Perhaps if I say purty please, you'd write an example of what you are talking about?  Aw, c'mon. I'm asking nicely here. Perhaps if I get down on my knees??? heh heh heh.  |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
Witch... I don't have the talent to write an example.. :0 but one could do something along the lines of.. Come the moon and all that is left of those days when green ruled limb lies bare. stripped of gay colored cloth with ribs now broken veins only skeletons remain in piles waiting pyres that sometimes haunt my dreams with gentle sighing screams "remember me, as I was then?" Come the wind and they are gone while the moon and I remain again but YOU would do it with class and with the sharper images, the edge of understanding that I have come to expect from you... you would give it more depth.. and a more precise well honed bite.... [This message has been edited by Cpat Hair (10-30-2003 03:22 PM).] |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
serenity You not only dug up bones but rattled them. LOL  |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
seymour? I got bones on the brain, I do!  And cap? one--you should post that, and two, I can't write like that. Three? I want to discuss this further but I've gotta run to the store. brb... (serenity exits, wishing she really could fly....where is my agaric dammit?  ) |
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littlewing Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655New York |
Hey now dont go dragging my message into this . . . LMAO . . . I didnt mean her write was mocking . . . mann you guys are brutal  Hey you guys? I am looking here and uhhhh . . . I think maybe you would get the desired result with a proper duet . . . perty please? [This message has been edited by littlewing (10-30-2003 03:15 PM).] |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
no, thank god you can't and don't write anything like that..you write better... and with much more in the art of understanding than I do.. |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
*rolling eyes* Do ya'll believe this guy? sigh..okay. I'll pop it back in the oven and quit messin' wif ya. |
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