Open Poetry #29 |
So close |
Wind
since 2002-10-12
Posts 2981 |
Children built this city out of wooden blocks then knocked it down. we cry sometimes, and that’s okay, just be wary of the electricity- it loves you tears, it loves to travel through your veins. when everything crumbles- then I’ll stand, I’ll be on top in the end, when we throw the food chain off the edge. Let’s build a pyramid, humans on bottom, rats on top- city’s within cities within cities- feeding on fear at the foot of your bed, ripping the wires that bring light to your head. wake up! it’s just a dream, see? we made it up, the morning alarm returns our sanity. see the daylight? nearby, but just out of reach; drowning in the sun leaves twice the burn. What about China? Have you seen the Great Wall? |
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© Copyright 2003 Liz - All Rights Reserved | |||
ecrivan Member Elite
since 2001-12-10
Posts 3923my own state |
that's an interesting perspective... imagining that we're living within the blocks we used to build the houses of our dreams...enjoyed the read;0 |
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PsychoticBunni Member
since 2003-10-03
Posts 162Mythical Atlantis |
sounds pretty. and this is in what part of ur imagination? lol. luvin it. Meg- And the Texan pushed the Mexican out of the plane and screamed, "Long live the ALAMO!!!!!!!!!" |
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Aenimal Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350the ass-end of space |
was wondering where you were, was going to get my nurse to wheel me from my padded cell to yours but i can here you loud and clear through the vents |
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SEA
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
"see the daylight? nearby, but just out of reach; drowning in the sun leaves twice the burn." very cool write |
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littlewing Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655New York |
This reminded me so much of "The Stand" by Stephen King . . . wake up! it’s just a dream, see? we made it up, the morning alarm returns our sanity. cept for my morning alarm brings me sanity . . . ok not ALL the time . . . four out of seven maybe Blowing my mind here Liz xxoo |
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Susan Caldwell Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348Florida |
"when everything crumbles- then I’ll stand, I’ll be on top in the end, when we throw the food chain off the edge." Can we do it soon? I love your thoughts. Susan "if you won't let me fall for you |
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Wind
since 2002-10-12
Posts 2981 |
nya....responding fellow victems of insanity What about China? Have you seen the Great Wall? |
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gemjop Member Elite
since 2002-11-18
Posts 2587Pencilveinia, USA |
WHY is this down here? did i ever tell you i hate life? love ya. |
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gemjop Member Elite
since 2002-11-18
Posts 2587Pencilveinia, USA |
P.S E bay saved my life or made it that bit worse, i can't decide. |
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Wind
since 2002-10-12
Posts 2981 |
it was down there because it was tired. like many people...yawns.. What about China? Have you seen the Great Wall? |
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BluesSerenade Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549By the Seaside |
Ooooooooo, good poem Windy woman! Liked this a lot!!! I’ll be on top in the end, when we throw the food chain off the edge. As well as the punch you packed into the ending. Very nice~ |
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Kethry Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082Victoria Australia |
Ahh! the building blocks of post modern de-constructionism. Kethry Here in the midst of my lonely abyss, a single joy I find...your presence in my mind. Unknown |
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mytuesdaywishes Member
since 2003-09-05
Posts 254a voice from the musicbox |
fantastic as usual, you're my favorite i think that it's brainless to assume that making changes to your window's view will gain a new perspective. |
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pandonov Member
since 2003-10-03
Posts 478b/w conscience and insolence |
cool indeed |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
very cool write Liz, glad you're back |
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Wind
since 2002-10-12
Posts 2981 |
thanks everyone, very much. What about China? Have you seen the Great Wall? |
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Mistletoe Angel
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
(sigh) Oh Liz, this is powerful, sweet friend, imagine changing the topography such this way and seeing how much different it could be but how our motives don't change at all! (big hugggssssssss) Love your new picture, sweet friend, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Liz, thank you for sharing! May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton I don't need no proof when it comes to God and truth |
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Duncan Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455 |
Hey kiddo. Very 1984 feel to this. (Look it up....lol). And like your telling here, that came and went and we barely blinked. Your view of the world is as darkly intriqing as ever Liz. |
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Wind
since 2002-10-12
Posts 2981 |
cmon dunc...what happened? What about China? Have you seen the Great Wall? |
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Nightshade
since 2001-08-31
Posts 13962just out of reach |
Let’s build a pyramid, humans on bottom, rats on top- city’s within cities within cities- feeding on fear at the foot of your bed, ripping the wires that bring light to your head. Awesome Wind !! hugs, Chris |
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Duncan Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455 |
Paraphrasing... "Let’s build a pyramid, humans on bottom, rats on top- city’s within cities within cities- feeding on fear at the foot of your bed, ripping the wires that bring light to your head. wake up! it’s just a dream, see? we made it up, the morning alarm returns our sanity. see the daylight? nearby, but just out of reach; drowning in the sun leaves twice the burn." ...that happened. You are one hell of a writer kiddo. |
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Wind
since 2002-10-12
Posts 2981 |
hmm...all I can find is that there is a book about the year 1984... basicaly it says that the government is a conspiracy and the world is divided into three sections. I must read this book...heh... What about China? Have you seen the Great Wall? |
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Duncan Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455 |
That's it kiddo!! You get a red star. Enjoy the book. |
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Justbleu Member Elite
since 1999-08-31
Posts 3329Oregon, Originally From Alaska :) |
Ingenious perspective.....Enjoyed this!!! Bridgette "Somewhere, somehow, it should be possible to touch someone and never let go again. To hold someone, not for a moment but forever." Unknown |
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Kaoru
since 2003-06-07
Posts 3892where the wild flowers grow |
wow... woah...and woo... |
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