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Aenimal
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-11-18

Posts 7350
the ass-end of space

0 posted 2003-10-18 03:01 PM

underneath a dying sky
grey fades the line between
reflection and pine
upon the grass
the leaves lay dead
as soldiers on a battlefield
one for each day lost to this,
the war of self-redemption

Enchantress
Member Empyrean

since 2001-08-14

Posts 35113
Canada eh.

1 posted 2003-10-18 03:06 PM

Excellent Raph!
It does look like a battlefield with all those dying and dead leaves.
~Warm autumnal smiles, Nancy~

~Autumn, the year's last, loveliest smile~

James_A_Fraser
Senior Member

since 2003-09-03

Posts 972
Out Making Anticlines

2 posted 2003-10-18 04:37 PM

And one for each day won, I hope!

I like the feel of this one, the inner landscape it shows. Nicely done!

~~J

Wind

Member Elite

since 2002-10-12

Posts 2981

3 posted 2003-10-18 04:39 PM

just letting you know that I read it

i lava it but I'm gonna....whats that word???

::poof::

(shh...don't tell the others)

What about China? Have you seen the Great Wall?
All walls are great, if the roof doesn't fall.
-yorke/bjork

gemjop
Member Elite

since 2002-11-18

Posts 2587
Pencilveinia, USA

4 posted 2003-10-18 07:11 PM

You make it all sound so beautiful, even when it's not.

hugs you. hope youre well.

~I wanna live, I wanna give, I've been a miner for a heart of gold~ Neil Young

pandonov
Member

since 2003-10-03

Posts 478
b/w conscience and insolence

5 posted 2003-10-19 01:54 AM

self-redemption you say, count one more body there.

littlewing
Member Rara Avis

since 2003-03-02

Posts 9655
New York

6 posted 2003-10-20 10:00 AM

and as each leave turns
face shining to the bleak October sky
worn and wrinkled
a single ray shines
upon leaf with green
last breath of life
gasping
for
a
change
of
season

Beautiful Raph
I adore this
Good for you
*smile*
xxoo

[This message has been edited by littlewing (10-20-2003 10:01 AM).]

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean

since 1999-07-07

Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla

7 posted 2003-10-20 10:06 AM

Aenimal
Well done, enjoyed.

Aenimal
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-11-18

Posts 7350
the ass-end of space

8 posted 2003-10-20 10:07 AM

danke shein

vandana

Member Patricius

since 1999-10-22

Posts 10463
USA

9 posted 2003-10-20 10:12 AM

enjoyed

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