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Open Poetry #29
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What's Her Problem
| Open Poetry #29 |
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What's Her Problem |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
What's Her Problem Sometimes I feel like she's reenacting the conflicts she had with her ex husband, with me. I imagine she wanted him to stick around and take it, but he wouldn't, he finally gave up and found a woman that wouldn't push him away. I think these are basic human needs; to be wanted and needed and accepted. So whats her problem? James Lee October16 2003 |
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| © Copyright 2003 JamesMichael - All Rights Reserved | |||
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BluesSerenade Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549By the Seaside |
Hard to say, unless you've walked a mile in her shoes! |
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EvocativeVerse2 Senior Member
since 2003-09-10
Posts 1279 |
Ah James what a question. I've been there. Loved someone who one moment said she needed me forever...then in the blink of an eye it seemed she was doing everything to push me away. I read a book that said such things were common. The main ingrediant seem to be fear. Fear of tings turning out like they did before, fear I was not committed to the relationship, fear of getting hurt. I stuck with it. Went that extra mile and won her heart. Hope it works out that way for you too. Remember, if you're not part of the future, you're history! |
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Rosebud1229 Senior Member
since 2000-04-05
Posts 1813North Carolina |
I agree often fear takes hold and your scared of being hurt again, it's hard when the scars may not have been healed from the past. So talking, caring and understanding maybe what she needs for now, just give it time. |
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SharaRose Member Elite
since 2003-07-19
Posts 2501Somewhere out there~ |
That goes both ways. Maybe she didn't feel loved by him, and then started distancing herself to sheild against the pain coming from that. It takes two. Like the gentleman above said...sometimes it's worth the extra mile. Just wondering? Why is it always the womans fault?  Terri~  [This message has been edited by SharaRose (10-18-2003 11:29 AM).] |
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LeeJ Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296 |
You know, it is difficult to climb in someones mind and come to conclusion about them, and when you do, your wrong every single time. No one does something for one reason, as there are usually many reasons, and until you are able to sit down and talk things over, it's best not to assume...you never know what has happened to a person...and why they do the things they do. If you can gain her trust in you, perhaps in time she will be able to share what she's been through, but if she does..you must never ever in anger throw things up to her to win an argument...it must be kept most secret and highly confidential...letting her know, that she can trust you and only you with all. You don't and will never know what it was like for her to live with him....and sometimes, that's the only thing we have to compare with, is our past experiences, so in a way, your gifted if you will...b/c you have the chance to prove to her, your different...can you, is your relationship with her that valuable and treasured? Only you can answer that...but believe me....if you can....and are willing...you may have been given the most wondrous gift of gold here...right before your eyes. It's up to you what you want to do with it. But...please think things through and don't react. hehehee, and I say this from personal experience. God bless you both and good luck. hugs Lee J. |
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
James If you could just successfully answer that with a solution then you'd be writing books on the subject. Some people have such terrible inferiority complexes that they have to take it out on others......Oh what a complicated life we lead......or share...... Eric Ain't doin nothin at all |
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SharaRose Member Elite
since 2003-07-19
Posts 2501Somewhere out there~ |
Dear James Micheal..I totally agree with Lee J. No one knows what a person has been through. The roads their minds have had to travel. This write seemed a bit intolerant, and judgemental toward the woman, and I reacted to that, but I want to apologize. I spoke way out of line. I only hope you will accept my apology, and all others who have been subjected to my comment above. I expressed myself with an unbridled tongue, and I do apologize to you, and to all. I am so sorry I reacted. Love, Terri~ |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
James, you've once again asked that question which is so hard to answer - when we all need to be introspective of our own emotions, and our own motives. Fear? Possibly. When someone is rejected, in whatever manner, and has felt the pain of that rejection, they never want to be in that position again. Evolution of one's mind is what builds up either tolerance, or brick walls. "She" may indeed have a problem, but who doesn't? Sometimes people put up those brick walls through their actions, just to see who will scale them, and become the hero [in their eyes]. We never know, do we? Interesting poem. Very interesting comments. A note to SharaRose. It took a lot for you to come back and issue an apology to James. Thank you for that. |
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angelblueyes Member Elite
since 2003-07-19
Posts 2148Oklahoma |
I have to say with all my abuse and ups and downs over the years I've been there. Depending on what she's been through it's hard to say.It's not always easy to live or deal with a woman like this.I know you have patience, strength, and understanding.May it follow you to the ends of the earth.  Crystal |
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Mistletoe Angel 
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
 (big hugggsssssss) No one should ever know exactly what someone has been through and so I believe we all have problems but we should be able to tolerate them! (sigh) God Bless You, sweet friend, I send angel hugs your way, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet James, thank you for sharing! May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton I don't need no proof when it comes to God and truth |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Thank you all for the interesting responses...I suffered from this problem myself many years ago and it still presents its ugly head from time to time...my primary problem was fear...something like, if I let her know who I really am, she won't like me and she'll leave me... This was written over frustration from a current relationship...I am considering giving her a copy of this as a conversation starter...haven't decided yet...James |
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