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Open Poetry #28
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The Great Pretender
| Open Poetry #28 |
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The Great Pretender |
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nakdthoughts Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200Between the Lines 
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The Great Pretender As I disassemble feelings pointless in an empty sky, the randomness of emotions brings me into a helter-skelter world. My thoughts erractic, my goals off course waiting now for the inevitable, tired of the unreliable, wishing for the stability to return. It's like being flocked, cushioned with a softness but knowing how easily it peels off revealing the underlay beneath, the support needed but not able to get through. So I pretend, go on a mind cruise feigning an adventure, believing somehow that the fast beating of my heart is not of anxiety but of a quest for happiness. I'd redo my life, if chance came my way. I'd be less apprehensive and would abandon my fears, be impulsive and be able to say later, that I have experienced it all, be more like my sister...no regrets just memories captured, journaled forever in my mind. M [This message has been edited by nakdthoughts (08-08-2003 09:33 AM).] |
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| © Copyright 2003 Wynter Bliss - All Rights Reserved | |||
bslicker 
since 2000-12-04
Posts 2321state of mind |
wow, can relate M good write bernie  A smile a day keeps the world in smile's. |
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Margherita Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236Eternity |
Dear M, this is written with your heart. It hurts. Your time is now. The dwelling in the past makes healing less easy. Love and hugs. Margherita  |
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nakdthoughts Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200Between the Lines |
Thank you Bernie, M I am not dwelling in my past Margherita, I am dreading the future days, weeks, months. My sister who needs a liver transplant and has been waiting for 3 years now (she has a rare blood type)...has developed lung cancer. It was only less than 2 months ago she had a hernia operation due to the fluid and swelling from the liver problem. And she can barely talk now, from the tubes she had down her throat and from coughing. She can't have chemo or radiation treatments if needed because of the liver. So no, I am not thinking of the past..I am worrying about each new day. Thank you for caring Maureen |
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Margherita Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236Eternity |
Dear Maureen, sorry if I misinterpreted your anxious words and sorry to hear this heartwrenching story. My heart goes out to both of you. I send a prayer to heaven for your sister to heal and for both of you to be serene, trusting, even though circumstances are that bad. (my aunt is going through this too and it is tough on her and all those who love her, I know). Love, Margherita |
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Nightshade
since 2001-08-31
Posts 13962just out of reach |
Bless your heart Maureen. I am praying for your sister. I feel your pain in your writing. hugs, Chris |
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jellybeans Member Elite
since 2000-10-13
Posts 2298 |
ah, I do understand...but...be careful of the memories, sometimes they seem wonderful when embraced, but later they come back to haunt you...some of those people, with lots of experiences, might give anything for a life without the memories of them...you are beautiful lady...don't forget that...hugs |
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nakdthoughts Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200Between the Lines |
Thank you again, Margherita. It's just hard to always be waiting to know what is happening...and to see her getting thinner (if that is possible) and aging before my eyes. And trying to seem upbeat for her while there is a lump in your own throat. |
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MARK V SHELDON Member Elite
since 2001-06-21
Posts 3015In a corporeal internship... |
...words fail in situations as these, but my best to you both... -MVS You CAN make a difference: |
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vandana
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463USA |
enjoyed |
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nakdthoughts Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200Between the Lines |
Failing Words tears drown my words suffocating the pain another failure... |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Keeping you and your sister in my thoughts and prayers, dear... |
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Susan Caldwell Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348Florida |
M, So very sorry to hear about your sister...my sister is my heart.. The writing was sad and beautiful... Take care of yourself.. Susan C. |
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angelblueyes Member Elite
since 2003-07-19
Posts 2148Oklahoma |
I'm sorry to hear about your sister.There's not much to say when someone is this sick that's comforting.Know though that the angels are watching over you both and my thoughts and prayers will remain with you both.For a miracle is a wondrous possibity. angelblueyes |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Maureen...It is so difficult to watch someone you love go through this. My heart goes out to you and to your sister. I know how hard it is to stay strong.  |
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nakdthoughts Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200Between the Lines |
Planning for the Unplanned As I rush around in this haze of a day nothing accomplished in mind's disarray, I have those who have touched me left me their mark, pressing their friendship when days seem so dark. Their words, when I'm fallen when reality seems such that I reason its hold and am needing their touch, though some never met where our eyes would have charmed each moment of truth their thoughts gently armed in their circle around me to lead me each day, to the hope of tomorrow another in stay. For my family in real, as close as we are there are those in this realm who are closer than far. So I thank them in prayer as the rains gently fall a gift of the living that tears down the wall when those in their need are conditioned to sad it is here that we come to in search of the glad... Not a very good poem, but I wish to thank those who are there for me and lift me up when I am down. M |
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bslicker
since 2000-12-04
Posts 2321state of mind |
Well M, tis not you to say thank you for that's what friends are for to let each know that together we all do care if only said in a prayer together a group as one brings us to better thoughts to bring the hope of the shinning sun. Smile M u should post the above on it's own.. ty bernie A smile a day keeps the world in smile's. Bernie Slicker [This message has been edited by bslicker (08-08-2003 01:56 PM).] |
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Local Rebel Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-21
Posts 5767Southern Abstentia |
but you have the power now and a powerful pen! |
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Skyfire
since 2000-12-27
Posts 3381Riding |
beautiful words It's hard to grow up and watch your friends remain in the same mindset that you left them in |
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