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Open Poetry #28
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Shake the Sky
| Open Poetry #28 |
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Shake the Sky |
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inkedgoddess Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-19
Posts 7392Ohio 
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you've become the cloud sailing off, yesterdays news takes centerstage again, trackless now you're anonymous, mute like a carnival fish in a plastic bag, self contained, scream your pretty head off, i will pay you no mind, you're all eyes, watching me watch you go, i could care less - the shaman will shake the sky for me, rain may descend in storms or come as an answered prayer, he is dancing on clouds just for me, why would i turn his love away? |
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| © Copyright 2003 inkedgoddess - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Bill Charles Member Patricius
since 2000-07-11
Posts 10619highways, & byways, for now |
Michele - the rain is falling, the skies are in storm, and I'm a dancing away... BC |
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Aenimal Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350the ass-end of space |
so many why's to deal with no? |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
love the visions this brought to mind |
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garysgirl  
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237Florida, USA |
you're all eyes, watching me watch you go, i could care less - Michele, I love this line in particular.  Hugs  Ethel |
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QjQ Member Elite
since 2003-04-18
Posts 3756U.S.A. |
very good write,,, |
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littlewing Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655New York |
ahh this is brilliant: mute like a carnival fish in a plastic bag, self contained, scream your pretty head off, i will pay you no mind, brilliant and love should never be turned away, it is much too sparse . . . xxoo |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
mute like a carnival fish in a plastic bag, ~*~ Now here's a line that makes for a wonderful metaphor... Well done! |
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vandana
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463USA |
nice read  |
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
Michele, this is wonderful work... now 'why should you?' regards sudhir |
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Susan Caldwell Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348Florida |
"mute like a carnival fish in a plastic bag" Ohhh..loved that line.. Very cool writing. Susan C. (that line makes me feel so evil..thinking of the little fishies I would like to mute...hmmmmm) |
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angelblueyes Member Elite
since 2003-07-19
Posts 2148Oklahoma |
Very wonerful writing here. angelblueyes |
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ctowen Member Elite
since 2001-10-18
Posts 2286Green Mountains of VT |
O O O ( O (  ) o( ) o ( O ( ) o ( ( O ( o ( ) ) () () O o )! !! ! ! ! ! "tiny bubbles ... " |
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Rosemary J. Gwaltney Senior Member
since 1999-08-26
Posts 997northern mountains, Idaho |
Intriguing and powerful. I like it! |
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ThisDiamond Member Rara Avis
since 2002-02-22
Posts 9353Michigan, USA |
The raw side of you Michelle...strong, valiant. Well done. TD |
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BluesSerenade Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549By the Seaside |
Hot damn! You had me with the first verse! This is wonderful and raw!! You sure know how to shake it girlie~ |
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Kaoru
since 2003-06-07
Posts 3892where the wild flowers grow |
"you're all eyes, watching me watch you go, i could care less - the shaman will shake the sky for me, rain may descend in storms or come as an answered prayer, he is dancing on clouds just for me, why would i turn his love away?" WOW.. BUMP! Awesome, amazing, and as always BEAUTIFUL write! Library, babe. |
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inkedgoddess Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-19
Posts 7392Ohio |
thank you dear bill...keep dancing the night is young raf...yes, i know, i know, why why why - Y is a crooked lette glad you liked the visions dixie ethel, i liked that one too!!! thanks dear girl thanks Q for stopping by and SuzieQ, oh yes, oh yes..........you are one of great insight, once again Sunshine, thank you for noticing vandana....thank you for coming by thanks Sudhir......much and spellcheck was on my side, this time a bit more, no? thanks angel eyes, glad u liked this rosemary.......so glad i could intrigue in this for you Tdiamond.......yes, the raw one strikes again! thanks for seeing this lorigirl......yep sister, i'm a shaking and i hope he's a quaking reading on...... kauro.......thanks for seeing this and for the good old bump craig, my boy.......that is one beauitful and amazing graphic, you've given, but honeychild........dont u know, its not polite to cut in on another man's dance thank you tho |
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bklynboy Senior Member
since 2002-12-15
Posts 660florida |
Some interesting and unique lines in this poem. Pretty good! |
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Jason Lyle Senior Member
since 2003-02-07
Posts 1438With my darkling |
mute like a carnival fish in a plastic bag, self contained, scream your pretty head off, i will pay you no mind, This is a great line in a great poem.I wish I had written it. Jason |
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ctowen Member Elite
since 2001-10-18
Posts 2286Green Mountains of VT |
My extreme apologies ... that was not my intentions at all! Was simply expressing the feelings of your mute fish!! (thanks for the compliment!) |
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inkedgoddess Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-19
Posts 7392Ohio |
thanks bboy as usual you are my sunshine on a rainy day jason.........so glad u liked, feel free to borrow it if you'd like craig,,,,,,,,,my bad................ so glad i still inspire.guess the thrill isnt gone |
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bklynboy Senior Member
since 2002-12-15
Posts 660florida |
mute like a carnival fish in a plastic bag I really like that line....mind if I steal it and claim it for my own. |
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