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bonefield
| Open Poetry #28 |
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bonefield |
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Wind
since 2002-10-12
Posts 2981
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hiding my winter thoughts inside of me I will tear this place apart, open fields and all Mind was drought when no rain fell it leads me somewhere, but I lost it amidst dust bowls, and tasting earth- it tastes just like dirt, but then again… nothing makes sense anymore it drops me from the greatest height This place is broken, and no one cares I cannot stop this bitter ache Fell down today, I won’t get up- you can’t make me I’m am not weak enough to crawl I want to stop us in our tracks Ball up and hold my legs, In case they walk away- Just like the old man who’s bones came walking and took his soul back to the grave You turn that color when you die inside… These walls are gone, I tore them down I don’t want shame upon my face ripping out electric veins: perhaps the house will bleed us light? I’ll sleep out in the rain tonight I want to blast these floors away, grab slate pillows, led blankets but where would you stand when there’s nothing at all? I forgot how weak you humans are I don’t care, this place is breaking, and it’s my fault I laugh and laugh and don’t tell me that it matters that we all turn to dust in the end. (err..yeah..don't mistake me for depressed..lol just one of my..little..moments) And the angel said unto me, "These are the cries of the carrots, the cries of the carrots!" -Tool [This message has been edited by Wind (09-09-2003 07:39 PM).] |
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| © Copyright 2003 Liz - All Rights Reserved | |||
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vlraynes Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229Somewhere... out there... |
"Fell down today, I won’t get up- you can’t make me I’m am not weak enough to crawl I want to stop us in our tracks Ball up and hold my legs, In case they walk away- Just like the old man who’s bones came walking and took his soul back to the grave You turn that color when you die inside…" Oh my...sitting here, in awe of your 'little moments'. You, my dear, are amazing...simply amazing. Hugs,  ~Vicky If you judge people, you have no time to love them. |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
Fell down today, I won’t get up- you can’t make me I’m am not weak enough to crawl I want to stop us in our tracks Ball up and hold my legs, In case they walk away- Just like the old man who’s bones came walking and took his soul back to the grave You turn that color when you die inside… These walls are gone, I tore them down I don’t want shame upon my face ripping out eclectic veins: perhaps the house will bleed us light? I’ll sleep out in the rain tonight I want to blast these floors away, grab slate pillows, led blankets but where would you stand when there’s nothing at all? I forgot how weak you humans are I don’t care, this place is breaking, and it’s my fault I laugh and laugh and don’t tell me that it matters that we all turn to dust in the end. you are right it doesn't matter... ( chuckling) unless you choose to believe that we are here to learn lessons and return with the thing we have learned and repeat the cycle until in some way we have raised our own levels of awareness and understanding to the point we can then truly effect changes in the world... but hey... you're the smart one... you figure it out... LOL  |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
Amazing Liz....your talent is so great! Your writing so far beyond your years. ~Smiles & Hugs, Nancy~ ~ Summer can't be over... |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
This is like OK Computer and Kid A wrestling, and both equally losing and winning.  |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
ummm, I do believe I saw your mind turn about seven times around this one, Liz. Tell me, are you opting for a publishing scholarship? You should, you know. |
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Wind
since 2002-10-12
Posts 2981 |
umm..wow..thank you. very much And the angel said unto me, "These are the cries of the carrots, the cries of the carrots!" |
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Wind
since 2002-10-12
Posts 2981 |
I got four replys while I was writing that..lol at Mikey I know thats a good thing..though I thought it was more like the bends or sommething..um..yeah..guessing it was the bleeding lights part..and tearing the walls down..drops me from a great hieght.. now that I look at it... heh sunshine..yeah..lol..I will be president some day  lol and enchantress..yes sweetie, thanky uo very mchAnd the angel said unto me, "These are the cries of the carrots, the cries of the carrots!" -Tool [This message has been edited by Wind (09-09-2003 06:03 PM).] |
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Nightshade
since 2001-08-31
Posts 13962just out of reach |
I want to blast these floors away, grab slate pillows, led blankets but where would you stand when there’s nothing at all? Awesome write Wind! Wish I could write my inner feelings such as you. hugs, Chris "Hope" is the thing with feathers |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Wind? Sometimes, it's ok to be serious.  |
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Wind
since 2002-10-12
Posts 2981 |
yeah? I am serious. but..people worrty. like..they ask me if I am ok..and then they don't come back and...they think I'm distrbed or something. so thats what the critique message is for. just my thoughts, but I don't want people to think that I am exeptonal at anything..or think they have to be nice. I can take advice. And the angel said unto me, "These are the cries of the carrots, the cries of the carrots!" |
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Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
"hiding my winter thoughts inside of me I will tear this place apart, open fields and all Mind was drought when no rain fell it leads me somewhere, but I lost it amidst dust bowls, and tasting earth- it tastes just like dirt, but then again… nothing makes sense anymore it drops me from the greatest height This place is broken, and no one cares I cannot stop this bitter ache Fell down today, I won’t get up- you can’t make me I’m am not weak enough to crawl I want to stop us in our tracks Ball up and hold my legs, In case they walk away- Just like the old man who’s bones came walking and took his soul back to the grave You turn that color when you die inside… These walls are gone, I tore them down I don’t want shame upon my face ripping out electric veins: perhaps the house will bleed us light? I’ll sleep out in the rain tonight I want to blast these floors away, grab slate pillows, led blankets but where would you stand when there’s nothing at all? I forgot how weak you humans are I don’t care, this place is breaking, and it’s my fault I laugh and laugh and don’t tell me that it matters that we all turn to dust in the end. " ~ Those were my favorite lines!  EA |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Then my advice would be to start enlisting the help of your counselor, if he or she is interested, or your English instructor, to find a publisher, because you have a gift, a true gift, for metaphor and language, and understanding, and you should be seriously looking at your writing as a way of life. Unless, of course, you only want to entertain, amuse, and please us...and that is fine, too. But it was a serious compliment, and I only wish I had developed my talent to your depths when I was your age. [This message has been edited by Sunshine (09-09-2003 08:05 PM).] |
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QjQ Member Elite
since 2003-04-18
Posts 3756U.S.A. |
Exclellent literary genre presented, |
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Wind
since 2002-10-12
Posts 2981 |
thank you guys vey much, and sunshine, that is a wonderful compliement and I am seriously flattered but I am more interested in science and the arts right now. so now it is entertainment, but people change, yanno? I do this for fun and venting out feelings. and to read other's poetry. but maybe in the futue I will change. believe it or not, I am too shy to read this to anyone but my friends. and people here of corse. but I appreciate your words a lot, not all of it really comes from me, it comes from the music. sometimes I wish I could do that. if I am lucky, someday I might  But perhaps I explained myself wrong? I just want to be treated as an equal and not the 'child with the gift.' I want writing to be enjoyable, not something to make a living off of. but this topic makes me uncomfortable so I will stop it.And the angel said unto me, "These are the cries of the carrots, the cries of the carrots!" -Tool [This message has been edited by Wind (09-09-2003 09:10 PM).] |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Understood. Accepted. Science on. |
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Aenimal Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350the ass-end of space |
grinning at mike's reply, yeah you have a little Yorke in you, without that eye thingy |
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Wind
since 2002-10-12
Posts 2981 |
eye twitches..what are you talking about? I think its from lack of sleep. or possibly insanity. or a nice combination of both..grinsAnd the angel said unto me, "These are the cries of the carrots, the cries of the carrots!" |
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Aenimal Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350the ass-end of space |
lol..hmmm btw reading your signature there didn't know you were a tool fan!? Also those specific lyrics you see what i mean about moral veggie? Life feeds on life grins |
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Kaoru
since 2003-06-07
Posts 3892where the wild flowers grow |
"perhaps the house will bleed us light? I’ll sleep out in the rain tonight I want to blast these floors away, grab slate pillows, led blankets but where would you stand when there’s nothing at all? I forgot how weak you humans are I don’t care, this place is breaking, and it’s my fault" ...wow just wow. |
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EvocativeVerse2 Senior Member
since 2003-09-10
Posts 1279 |
Wind...this is amazing. You have fueled my immagination with this piece. Wonderful I say. Keep up the great work. It will open limitless possibilities. Thank-you ever so much for sharing. |
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
Wind - You've done a wonderful job here - You're growing into a very talented poet, young lady - Just keep on writing, m'friend...  |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Wind A cycle, is a cycle, as a rose. Enjoyed |
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littlewing Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655New York |
Liz, what a dark beauty you have placed before me . . . Just like the old man who’s bones came walking and took his soul back to the grave You turn that color when you die inside… priceless lines, m'friend xxoo |
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James_A_Fraser Senior Member
since 2003-09-03
Posts 972Out Making Anticlines |
I know those winter thoughts.....and I also know that while spring does come, it's usually after a long season of slush..... |
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Wind
since 2002-10-12
Posts 2981 |
thank you everybody, very much. And yeah Raphael..just must not have been reading the fine print in the music thread...schism- thats a good song? something like that. I'm feeling disgustipated.I was gonna do radiohead but they were not weird enough for my current mood. that sounds starnge but..heh And the angel said unto me, "These are the cries of the carrots, the cries of the carrots!" |
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