navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #28 » In Ebb Of Jumbled Stone We Fell
Open Poetry #28
Post A Reply Post New Topic In Ebb Of Jumbled Stone We Fell Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
Cpat Hair
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793


0 posted 2003-09-09 12:27 PM


Along the shore
Amid jumbled rock splits
That lay in patterns of eroded chaos
It is easy to twist an ankle
Or trip
To knee jarring scrape
Of rough stone abrasion
That leaves bruised to bleed
An ooze of red to slowly clot
Into black lines
On tender flesh

Still…
We pick our way here
Spying shell washed treasures
Of hapless bivalve
Now bleached clean
To grace a jar

Laughter drowned
In waves lapping rush
The small copse of sand we found
Became our couch
To wile away the tales of day
Then dream the lust of night
Bared as we dare
The touch
Of something softer
Yet more likely to hurt
Than a stumble on jumbled crack

Your eyes ventured always to the sea

And like the tide
I felt you recede
but I marked the high point
With a memory of how close
the crest of you came
to reaching my heart

Had we shared the stars here
Would we have been washed away
And left to drift the currents
Of something larger than
Our empty sighs?

But,
We staggered our way in half-light

The treacherous path back
Not knowing we had fallen
And not yet tending
The wounds of good-bye

[This message has been edited by Cpat Hair (09-09-2003 12:58 PM).]

© Copyright 2003 Cpat Hair - All Rights Reserved
inkedgoddess
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-19
Posts 7392
Ohio
1 posted 2003-09-09 12:29 PM



Laughter drowned
In waves lapping rush
The small copse of sand we found
Became our couch
To wile away the tales of day
Then dream the lust of night
Bared as we dare

yes, life's a beach isn't it?

BluesSerenade
Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549
By the Seaside
2 posted 2003-09-09 12:51 PM


And like the tide
I felt you recede
but I marked the high point
With a memory of how close
the crest of you came
to reaching my heart

That verse is the essence
of poetic expression at it's very best!!!  

Lovely writing Cpat~


Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

3 posted 2003-09-09 12:55 PM


And like the tide
I felt you recede
but I marked the high point
With a memory of how close
the crest of you came
to reaching my heart

=============================

damn you for using these ocean images, personifis and metaphors to break my heart...
damn you and thank you  

Ron? this new muse of late?
youre writing from a higher place...and considering the impressive height you already were....me thinks you must know of thinner air and an infinate view.

moth giddy am I.  

When was the last time you felt this high,
you are the best I've ever felt.
Its so wrong not to be with you
Its getting harder to stay away.

SH

[This message has been edited by Janet Marie (09-09-2003 12:56 PM).]

Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
4 posted 2003-09-09 01:00 PM


"Your eyes ventured always to the sea

And like the tide
I felt you recede
but I marked the high point
With a memory of how close
the crest of you came
to reaching my heart"

Wonderful Ron..and I, like JM see you fine tuning your writing of late.
Still you, but on a higher level..(as if that were possible)
Much enjoyed m'friend.
~Smiles & Hugs, Nancy~

      ~ Summer can't be over...
   I still have sand in my shoes ~

Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348
Florida
5 posted 2003-09-09 01:01 PM


"Bared as we dare
The touch
Of something softer
Yet more likely to hurt
Than a stumble on jumbled crack

Your eyes ventured always to the sea

And like the tide
I felt you recede
but I marked the high point
With a memory of how close
the crest of you came
to reaching my heart"


Sometimes something far more meaningful and pure comes when one does not give in to lust.....and yet...there is always a feeling of what if...do we ever win?

Ron, you touch my heart by merely breathing..

Susan

[This message has been edited by Susan Caldwell (09-09-2003 01:01 PM).]

Pilgrimage
Member Elite
since 2001-12-04
Posts 3945
Texas, USA
6 posted 2003-09-09 01:11 PM


The ending of this one says it all. The rocks are jagged, indeed.

Nan (Pilgrim variety)

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
7 posted 2003-09-09 01:30 PM



Uhm...I was going to say that this would make a Moth Queen giddy...but she beat me to it...

AND...

she was right re: the higher plane.  You look good, up there.

Keep letting the pages float down, though.  OK?

scorpio
Member Ascendant
since 2002-10-02
Posts 5178
right...there
8 posted 2003-09-09 01:52 PM


Each read of your work reveals yet more talent and creativity..

believe in what your heart feels...

angelblueyes
Member Elite
since 2003-07-19
Posts 2148
Oklahoma
9 posted 2003-09-09 03:52 PM


You pull the reader into your world and sow them your heart and soul.This was very intriguing and held deep meaning.
Crystal

Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #28 » In Ebb Of Jumbled Stone We Fell

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary