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Open Poetry #28
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trains and broken mirrors
| Open Poetry #28 |
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trains and broken mirrors |
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Wind
since 2002-10-12
Posts 2981
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My steps magnetic, guide me to the tracks What trains have traveled here? Metal beats- each step like rain I can’t take it anymore So desperate to show me the light that you have blinded me. The train is coming what will you do? Inertia holds me faint gravity caused me to revolve around you you were the world to me. I have trouble putting the glass together. you broke it, this puzzle you've made. piece by piece- it takes forever. Sending off a green-light- I flash it back yellow, then red… Slow down- Stop. Turn off the light- I’ll find my own way out of this too late, the train it gone- I've missed my chance gone from white to black... neither one is good you make it sound so easy, with your step-by-step instructions, simple as turn around- Go back to the tunnel Go back to tomorrow, the train will come again (needs a little work  )insanity is not a crime [This message has been edited by Wind (08-05-2003 08:28 PM).] |
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| © Copyright 2003 Liz - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
Gadzooks, you are such a creative, imaginative writer! How old did you say you are!---   EA |
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Nightshade
since 2001-08-31
Posts 13962just out of reach |
So desperate to show me the light that you have blinded me. The train is coming what will you do? Ah, Wind my little friend, your muse is very busy I see. Well done, interesting read. hugs, Chris  |
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Wind
since 2002-10-12
Posts 2981 |
thanks you two..yes, it seems that she won't quit. I have this thing about trains..they mean a lot to me, going new places, starting over- choosing your own path. Sometimes I walk on the tracks when I need inspiration. they are littered with broken glass. and I walk with bare feet. never been cut once. sometimes I wonder why thanks for reading. I'm 14..14..14..I will echo this untill they stop asking  which will be-never? insanity is not a crime |
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BluesSerenade Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549By the Seaside |
Turn around- Go back to the tunnel Go back to tomorrow, the train will come again Let's hope so!! No one captures the essence of the wind the way you do....You not only take me there, you take me back again. Nice one Windy woman!! |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
I too have a thing about trains--AND broken mirrors... no need to page Dr. Freud. It's all pretty apparent in my case. You really ARE quite amazing. and I don't care if you are 14 or 41... but don't get tired of folks asking, someday they WON'T--and?  by then it's too late.You are brilliant my friend. and right here? "you make it sound so easy, with your step-by-step instructions, easy as turn around- Go back to the tunnel Go back to tomorrow, the train will come again" You caught the dismay of the cyclic. Much applause. |
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Krawdad Member Elite
since 2001-01-03
Posts 2597 |
What K said . . . echo, echo, echo . . . if only I had tried it when I was 14 . . . |
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littlewing Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655New York |
No Liz, no work needed at all whatsoever wishing I had your insight . . . xxoo |
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Kaoru
since 2003-06-07
Posts 3892where the wild flowers grow |
I don't think it needs any work either, Liz.. I love this write.. |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
"Slow down- Stop. Turn off the light- I’ll find my own way out of this" love those lines! |
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Wind
since 2002-10-12
Posts 2981 |
Thanks to all of you...Ser yanno why? I'm your evil twin  ...(evil laughter)insanity is not a crime |
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Riley
since 2002-07-18
Posts 1038in the pouring rain |
hey hey, guess what song i am listening toooooo.....trapt-headstrong ( good song it kicks butt bai*b ) but seriously, nice poem here ( for a brat that is ) ( and btw this is coming from a bunny ) lol'zquote: riley leanne * the pouring rain kisses my lips with innocence as you look into my eyes * |
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gemjop Member Elite
since 2002-11-18
Posts 2587Pencilveinia, USA |
Inertia holds me faint gravity caused me to revolve around you you were the world to me. Genius. How do you do it?  Tell meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!????I love ya lizzie.  Instant karma's gonna get you. |
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Miah Senior Member
since 2002-08-26
Posts 1062Pennsylvania |
The train always seems to find it's way back. Such creative writing! enjoyed. |
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1slick_lady Member Ascendant
since 2000-12-22
Posts 6088standing on a shadow's lace |
wind... ageless is what you are in your swirl every time i read you i catch my breath.. you say this one needs work? i think not...h |
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Wind
since 2002-10-12
Posts 2981 |
you guys are too much thanks insanity is not a crime |
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Wind
since 2002-10-12
Posts 2981 |
onece agin: did anyone just see this jump from the second page to the middle of this one? This happens a lot with my stuff...perhaps I'm magical insanity is not a crime |
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gemjop Member Elite
since 2002-11-18
Posts 2587Pencilveinia, USA |
did it? i thought it was on the first page. it was on my first page. gemma page thats meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. |
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garysgirl
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237Florida, USA |
you make it sound so easy, with your step-by-step instructions, simple as turn around- Go back to the tunnel Go back to tomorrow, the train will come again Liz, this is amazing writng, my friend. And, don't you just hate it when you talk about something and someone acts like they know exactly what you mean.....telling you how to do eveeeeryyyyything...no matter what it is, they say they've been through it before. I wonder just how much one person can go through, don't you? BTW, this was on my first page, too.  Hugs, my friend Ethel |
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nakdthoughts Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200Between the Lines |
I walk the tracks, too..but ours has no broken glass..it's part of our bike path and park system now. You write so well Liz..only suggestion is to check your spelling every now and then..you know that I before e except after c rule..I think thats the one ( teacher in me, sorry)hugss M |
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Wind
since 2002-10-12
Posts 2981 |
oh thanks..I thought it was the other way around sometimes it confuses me.insanity is not a crime |
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