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Open Poetry #28
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Two a.m.
| Open Poetry #28 |
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Two a.m. |
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ice Member Elite
since 2003-05-17
Posts 3404Pennsylvania |
Observe; How the shallow whirlpool Spoon stirred, sends ripple-swirls Out to brink, Her thick-rimmed diner cup. * How the left hand, index Middle finger-held Cigarette Drops ash unflicked, On the swirl-faux marble Counter top. * Red eyes, knuckle rubbed Opened wide. Random thoughts race, Behind a stare fixed-in-place... * Where does a girl Go from here When, It's two AM... And it's over? * end |
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| © Copyright 2003 ford hume - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Kethry Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082Victoria Australia |
where indeed, I guess she could always go home to bed. Poignant poem- full of misery and despair. Kethry Here in the midst of my lonely abyss, a single joy I find...your presence in my mind. Unknown |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
ice A clear observation...could see her as you have described, with a mixture of honesty and compassion. Thanks!  |
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timothysangel1973
since 2001-12-03
Posts 1725Never close enough |
Gosh Ice, this reminds me of someone I know...*grin* Wonderful write m'friend! |
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froggy Senior Member
since 2003-06-23
Posts 1893Michigan |
Is this a new one? I don't remember you playing it in the room. I do really like this. :-) Ribbit |
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Decaflame Senior Member
since 2001-05-11
Posts 1635 |
Even the clock's tick was palpable. |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
Excellent imagery... You took me 'there'. ~Smiles & Hugs, Nancy~ ~ Summer can't be over... |
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Lady Godiva Junior Member
since 2003-09-03
Posts 35at the bottom of your glass |
do you know what I'm thinking..or what I see when I read this!? well hrm...most likely I'll be on the street trying to hail down a taxi...you have my mind wandering  |
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ice Member Elite
since 2003-05-17
Posts 3404Pennsylvania |
Kerthy I think she stayed a while at the diner and did just that (went home to bed) miserable and in despair...but I like to think she woke up feeling a little better..... Thanks for commenting......ice * Martie I am glad the "compassion" came through. and the clarity....You're welcome......ice * tomothysangel Sounds like you may have had a night or two like this. Thank you.....ice * Froggy I think I played this in poetry chat, but can't remember for sure? It is a couple months old...... I am glad you like it....ice * Decaflame Thank you for listening close enough to the words to hear it.....ice * Lady G. I have had many different comments on this poem...Most say that the (girl) woman here has just broken up with someone...Others have said that the woman is an aging prostitute, and one person thought the women was homeless and someone had stolen all of her belongings..as you can see, other minds have wandered...Thanks for the comments....ice |
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ice Member Elite
since 2003-05-17
Posts 3404Pennsylvania |
Enchantress/Nancy Thank you for reading this poem and for the nice comments......:-) Smiles and hugs back at ya......ice |
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