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Open Poetry #27
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serenity blaze
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since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738


0 posted 2003-06-19 06:30 PM



The mist was clinging to the ground
and dawn played patterns through the leaves,
I could smell the musk of earth.
The path was smooth beneath my feet.

A forest was awakening.
Then I heard the green fly buzz.
The kind of flies that court the dead--
I smelled the stench and knew it was...

My chest became a sheet of ice
It grew difficult to breathe.
Then the moss reached out to me
and latched upon my panicked feet

tendrilling about my legs
and upon my fear it fed--
then I tripped discovery
and spied the eyes in severed head--

I saw it was my own.

© Copyright 2003 serenity blaze - All Rights Reserved
Magnus
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Member Laureate
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135
South Carolina, USA
1 posted 2003-06-19 06:33 PM


YIKES!!!!

Gosh Ser.  this certainly is a nightmarish
tale....It is a tale, right?  Wow.  the
visuals were intense...

Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612
Hurricane Alley
2 posted 2003-06-19 06:49 PM


Whew! I'm glad I read this hours before my bedtime or I'd never get to sleep! Scary one Missy!
CastleGuard
Senior Member
since 2003-04-30
Posts 760
Alberta, Canada
3 posted 2003-06-19 06:53 PM



Positively, deliciously...morbid.

Reads like a blend of Poe and Dickinson.

Love it. Good job.

CG

Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095

4 posted 2003-06-19 06:54 PM


You got me with this one honey.

Excellent as always.

keeping it.

Maree

Krawdad
Member Elite
since 2001-01-03
Posts 2597

5 posted 2003-06-19 07:06 PM


"then I tripped discovery"

The chilling Blaize at work . . .  
and now we all look forward to more morbidity from thee . . .

garysgirl
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since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237
Florida, USA
6 posted 2003-06-19 07:13 PM


Karen, this is scary...I hope it was just fantasy  and not reality!!
Very good writing!!
     
Ethel

vlraynes
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229
Somewhere... out there...
7 posted 2003-06-19 07:30 PM



Karen...this is quite a powerful and disturbing nightmare.
My wish for you?...a night of peaceful sleep, with the only
dreams being those that bring a smile to your face.
Love you, lady,
~Vicky

"...until you have read the verse on his heart,
you have not truly met the poet.
~vlraynes

[This message has been edited by vlraynes (06-19-2003 07:32 PM).]

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

8 posted 2003-06-19 08:11 PM


Thank you, in certain native american ideology, it is believed that in order to quell a recurring nightmare, one must act it out--else be doomed to repeat the same in "dreamtime."

smile. Obviously, I can't act this one out. (I HOPE... )

But I thought writing it was the next best thing. Thanks for indulging me...

Love you all.

Mysteria
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since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada
9 posted 2003-06-19 08:11 PM


Okay, see I read #2 then #1 thinking this one would be lighter, WRONG!  I am leaving my light on tonight thanks to you.  And lady, I would definitely have warm milk before bed and stop these - they are dang scary, and more importantly my heart goes out to you.

[This message has been edited by Mysteria (06-19-2003 08:15 PM).]

Aenimal
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350
the ass-end of space
10 posted 2003-06-19 08:37 PM


jesus K
Edder
Senior Member
since 2003-04-02
Posts 671

11 posted 2003-06-19 09:16 PM


...shaking in my boots
Skyfire
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Member Elite
since 2000-12-27
Posts 3381
Riding
12 posted 2003-06-19 09:20 PM


Woah... you're still my hero (strangely enough this made me thing of Lord of the Flies...). *runs off to read the rest of the nightmares*
Dr.Moose1
Member Elite
since 1999-09-05
Posts 3448
Bewilderment , USA
13 posted 2003-06-19 09:24 PM


serenity,
Dark and delicious.
Doc

brian sites
Senior Member
since 2002-06-25
Posts 1475
usa
14 posted 2003-06-19 09:24 PM


you discovered something dead in you...
shiver...smile

love your atmosphere

Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348
Florida
15 posted 2003-06-25 03:45 PM


Good lord, these 3, put an actual fear in my bones...

bumping all

Susan

Artic Wind
Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 8080
Realm of Supernatural
16 posted 2009-03-24 04:16 PM


The mist was clinging to the ground
and dawn played patterns through the leaves,
I could smell the musk of earth.
The path was smooth beneath my feet...................."

Excellent! ~


ARCTIC WIND

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