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Open Poetry #27
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Staring at Clouds
| Open Poetry #27 |
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Staring at Clouds |
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Aenimal Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350the ass-end of space 
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When I was young I'd fling myself unto the ground staring at the sky and picking out shapes in the clouds These days I'm flung to ground by the fist of things still staring at clouds but the only shape I see is the shape of a boot about to crash down |
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| © Copyright 2003 raphael giuffrida - All Rights Reserved | |||
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the_loner_23 Member Ascendant
since 2002-06-08
Posts 5479Jacksonville, Florida, USA |
This is very depressing. But I really liked it. Cold hands means a warm heart |
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Forgotenandgone Member
since 2003-05-07
Posts 52NC |
That is a very good poem...i really liked it...keep writing... |
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Slickcme2 Junior Member
since 2003-06-18
Posts 11 |
That was good. |
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Ceinwyn Member Elite
since 2000-07-09
Posts 2175VA |
is good very very good uhh yea u know I suck at this stuff  If at first you don't succeed destroy all the evidence that you tried. [This message has been edited by Ceinwyn (06-18-2003 11:28 PM).] |
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inkedgoddess Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-19
Posts 7392Ohio |
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------- When I was young I'd fling myself unto the ground staring at the sky and picking out shapes in the clouds so much to see on any given day......pick and choose, paint your own sky......... okay, im floating off now.............. good words, hate that thud tho, but know it well |
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skyshine 
since 2002-02-07
Posts 3058Beneath the northern stars |
Well spoken, Aenimal, but depressing. Hope that you see a nicer image soon.  ~Elizabeth Dreams last for so long, even after you're gone... |
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Aenimal Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350the ass-end of space |
Thanks loner appreciate it thanks forgoten and slickcme2 wlecome to PIP lol thanks Kris Thanks mishy i could do without the thuds too Me too thanks elizabeth |
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littlewing Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655New York |
. . . if the world would only allow us that innocence of seeing as we once did . . . tough write Raph brilliant as always xxoo |
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Krawdad Member Elite
since 2001-01-03
Posts 2597 |
"by the fist of things" I like that line, clear but still ambiguous. Kraw' (Last line is superfluous, I think, easily presumed form the previous line.) |
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Aenimal Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350the ass-end of space |
thanks Sue yeah i wish too krawdad yeah i kinda thought so too but left it in a moment of weakness..and ironically i thought people would think the fist of things was a bad line..thanks for the thoughts |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
very cool, I related well |
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BloomingRose Member Elite
since 2000-08-09
Posts 3092Florida |
The next time you stare into the sky, search for a rainbow. There is always hope. Sad poem you wrote, but with good expression. You have to let your heart flow, and you did. Deb |
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Aenimal Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350the ass-end of space |
Knew you would Dixie Deb thanks I'll give it a try |
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SEA
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
very very sad...hope you are ok  |
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Aenimal Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350the ass-end of space |
no worries Sea just my normal #&&$#^$ up self |
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gemjop Member Elite
since 2002-11-18
Posts 2587Pencilveinia, USA |
lol, told u you may have psychic powers, you predicted my week right here! xxxxxxx |
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Goldenrose Member Elite
since 2003-05-30
Posts 3665 |
Brutal but truthfull, you tell it how it is, we can ask no more. Goldenrose. |
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littlewing Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655New York |
gemma - he never listens to me about that is true very true xxoo |
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vandana
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463USA |
nice read  |
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Aenimal Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350the ass-end of space |
Yes gemma but I told you the spelling is Psycho.. goldenrose thanks appreciate that Sue and I've told you the same..use spellcheck thanks vandana glad you enjoyed it |
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dreambuilder Member
since 2003-03-23
Posts 319caddyshack |
I could relate but now I lay on the ground look up & it starts raining threatening to strike me with lightning good write my friend . . . all that we see or seem is but a dream within a dream . . . |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
Much enjoyed the read and the surprise second stanza. Hope you are okay. ~Hugs~ ~Somewhere in my heart I'm always |
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Artic Wind Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 8080Realm of Supernatural |
Oh my lol, Really, Because if so, that's not pleasant! ARCTIC WIND |
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