First attempt at a tanka - pipTalk Forums

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Open Poetry #27

First attempt at a tanka

Foxyoasis
Senior Member

since 2003-06-10

Posts 974
Atlantic Beach,Fla

0 posted 2003-06-17 11:45 PM

          Beautiful mind, face,
       alarming grace,perfect grin
           melts my heart,my soul
        heaven gave me a new chance

Fool me once shame on you.....Fool me twice shame on me.....

pisumnux
Junior Member

since 2003-06-11

Posts 49
Troy, NY

1 posted 2003-06-17 11:47 PM

beautiful...i loved it

If it weren't for my horse...

skyshine

Member Elite

since 2002-02-07

Posts 3058
Beneath the northern stars

2 posted 2003-06-17 11:48 PM

I'm not sure exactly how to write a tanka but your descriptions are very nice!

~Elizabeth

Dreams last for so long, even after you're gone...
~Jewel

Foxyoasis
Senior Member

since 2003-06-10

Posts 974
Atlantic Beach,Fla

3 posted 2003-06-17 11:51 PM

its where you have to have it in order,like they syllables. with 5 lines, 5-7-5-7-7

Fool me once shame on you.....Fool me twice shame on me.....

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

4 posted 2003-06-18 04:31 AM

nice!

Artic Wind
Member Rara Avis

since 2007-09-16

Posts 8080
Realm of Supernatural

5 posted 2008-02-21 02:47 PM

You hit it well

ARCTIC WIND

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