Open Poetry #27 |
Revolving door |
jellybeans Member Elite
since 2000-10-13
Posts 2298 |
Revolving door I wanted to leave you wanted to keep me here with pretence of acquiesce you pushed me in and then jumped in right behind me hand to hand we faced off you pushed I pulled and opposing forces started the revolution around and around we traveled far and got nowhere fast can’t we breach this divide where two are two and not one as promised jump please jump oh stop please stop this spinning [This message has been edited by jellybeans (07-30-2003 02:23 PM).] |
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© Copyright 2003 jellybeans - All Rights Reserved | |||
Ankaria Junior Member
since 2003-07-26
Posts 35Sask. Canada |
You really gained tempo in this piece. It's very fun to read and open ended! Good work |
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icebox Member Elite
since 2003-05-03
Posts 4383in the shadows |
Well, eventually the mind just quits and the body keeps spinning; try to get off before that. |
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jellybeans Member Elite
since 2000-10-13
Posts 2298 |
ankaria, thank you, glad you found a postive note in it icebox, exactly, I think I hit that point and am finally coming back to my senses.....thanks [This message has been edited by jellybeans (07-30-2003 06:05 PM).] |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
Do you remember that poem buzz posted long ago about VL in the washing machine? *G* I'm reminded of that... the lack of control in your own destiny... I know this lacks the foolishness and grins... but through the angst of this spin, a thought of happy times slipped in. *S* |
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Patricia Member Elite
since 2003-04-06
Posts 2160Missouri |
Sounds like the opposing thoughts in my mind. Should I..Shouldn't I...middle of the night indecisions to the point of "bed spins". A wonderful write, Ms. Beans. Patricia |
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Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
JellyGal~ I KNOW that concept~ You wrote the emotion perfectly~ *Huglets* ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ |
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jellybeans Member Elite
since 2000-10-13
Posts 2298 |
well, smiles are nice, so slip them my way anytime....love you lady patricia, you know I hadn't thought of it like that, this was push and pull between a 'couple' but after your comment I reread and was pleased to see it could be read that way as well, thank you for the insight marge...yep, thought you would, we seem to share quite a few things in life *smile* |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
damn! this is me |
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jellybeans Member Elite
since 2000-10-13
Posts 2298 |
thankyou |
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