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Open Poetry #27

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NickTofteland
Member

since 2003-06-13

Posts 74
MN, USA

0 posted 2003-06-15 07:43 PM

Toothy morning cradle
of poppy seed and pomegranate.
Petals stir as bees sing,
pollen splashes canvas.

In a moment,
my heart will wake
to lick rocks in searching,
fingers blistering the shore
Waters churning,
hair a mussied frenzy
as fish lie belly up.
The sea becomes melancholy
when Memory opens her lockets.

His words are whispers in the sky.
Forget-me-nots
of scraggly tailed blues,
given memories ago
in slushy soupy fondles.

Heart clipped
to mourning sun.
Words in flowered clumps
of faded blue forget-me-nots,
lie strangled by the throat.
As land is pestered by the sea,
seeking your name
again, again.

Taking goddess by the hand,
leaving me an alien land.
Where Memory teases with her lockets,
and curious sea
scribbles on rocks,
she loves you not!

Psalms 20:7 "Some trust in chariots and some in horses, but we trust in the name of the Lord our God."

© Copyright 2003 Nick Tofteland - All Rights Reserved

A Romantic Heart
Member Ascendant

since 1999-09-03

Posts 5496
Forever In Your Heart

1 posted 2003-06-15 08:11 PM

Your poem was very easy flowing and I liked the words you used to describe your feelings! I enjoyed it very much!

NickTofteland
Member

since 2003-06-13

Posts 74
MN, USA

2 posted 2003-06-15 08:57 PM

Thanks

Psalms 20:7 "Some trust in chariots and some in horses, but we trust in the name of the Lord our God."

BluesSerenade
Member Patricius

since 2001-10-23

Posts 10549
By the Seaside

3 posted 2003-06-15 11:23 PM

Hey, this works out nicely.

Loved the rhythm, it kept me going,
and the sentiment was really something.

Welcome Nick~

Foxyoasis
Senior Member

since 2003-06-10

Posts 974
Atlantic Beach,Fla

4 posted 2003-06-16 12:44 PM

very nice

keep it up

Fool me once shame on you.....Fool me twice shame on me.....

cynicsRus
Senior Member

since 2003-06-06

Posts 591
So Cal So Cool!

5 posted 2003-06-16 12:48 PM

Nick,
Your meter captivates the eyes in this one, while your metaphors stimulate the mind.

Honestly an enjoyable read.

Thanks for sharing,

Sid

Larry C

Deputy Moderator 1 Tour

Member Patricius

since 2001-09-10

Posts 10286
United States

6 posted 2003-06-16 12:49 PM

Good write. But I hate it when that happens!

If tears could build a stairway and memories a lane, I'd walk right up to heaven and bring you home again.

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

7 posted 2003-06-16 03:37 AM

good write, the ending just makes the poem! nice pic!

Artic Wind
Member Rara Avis

since 2007-09-16

Posts 8080
Realm of Supernatural

8 posted 2008-02-03 03:19 PM

Toothy morning cradle
of poppy seed and pomegranate.
Petals stir as bees sing,
pollen splashes canvas...

Good Night Indeed

ARCTIC WIND

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