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Open Poetry #27
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Within the ashes
| Open Poetry #27 |
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Within the ashes |
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wranx Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689Moved from a shack to a barn 
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Sifting through the ashes Of what was once, my father My fingers and I are struck By the myriad textures and forms That make up a man Here Are these the teeth Through which he hissed his bitterness? And this A knuckle, perhaps A one fifth share of that kissing fist At last A thing of some value I find a ring of gold, that wasn’t his * * * * * * * I found myself retrieving a ring from the cremated remains, at the behest of his girlfriend. (She wanted it back!..sheesh) [This message has been edited by wranx (07-29-2003 01:57 AM).] |
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| © Copyright 2003 E.F.Rose - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Ouch! I can only hope that the ring was disfigured as much as the man himself... This hurt, and I'm sorry every time I read a poem, knowing others were not as fortunate as I. |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Ed...I can see how this felt by your words, a gruesome task, but also maybe a way of letting go of the bad things? I never thought of jewelry being a part of cremation. |
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wranx Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689Moved from a shack to a barn |
The jewelry is taken off, then included with the remains. Not gruesome, just surreal. Thanks ladies, for the read Oh! It's true though, what a young woman once told me...The world has bowed to me. Ed [This message has been edited by wranx (07-28-2003 06:52 PM).] |
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Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
ahhh Sir Ed, another wonderful write from you m'friend, haunting and wonderful. Maree  |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
wranx Sifting with a symboled comb. Well done. |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
W(ow). |
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icebox Member Elite
since 2003-05-03
Posts 4383in the shadows |
Yes, surreal. Well done. Do something better for yourself. |
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garysgirl 
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237Florida, USA |
Oh Ed, this hurt. I know that it takes a lot to write about things hurtful.  Hugs to you  Ethel |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
you shoulda let me at her first |
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Bonfirelight Member
since 2003-06-19
Posts 85London, England |
really good stuff. haunting, a little scary but still defiant. cheers |
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Patricia Member Elite
since 2003-04-06
Posts 2160Missouri |
I am sorry...very poignant words. Patricia |
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Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Wranx~ This hurt to read ... and I know it hurt to do~ *Huglets* ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ |
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Aenimal Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350the ass-end of space |
I think squirrel's answer said it all, w(ow) great piece painful write/experience |
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ThisDiamond Member Rara Avis
since 2002-02-22
Posts 9353Michigan, USA |
What an interesting experience, to paw through the remains of memories, for the brass ring. Great write there kiddo... You know? It takes a self made man to get this deeply to root of the pain and exorcise it. Bravo. TD |
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ThisDiamond Member Rara Avis
since 2002-02-22
Posts 9353Michigan, USA |
What an interesting experience, to paw through the remains of memories, for the brass ring. Great write there kiddo... You know? It takes a self made man to get this deep. Bravo. TD |
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littlewing Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655New York |
Jesus what powerful lines Ed: Here Are these the teeth Through which he hissed his bitterness? God, I loved these lines sorry you had to do this and yes sheesh! xxoo |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
God...this is haunting..and bitter. Well done. |
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brian sites Senior Member
since 2002-06-25
Posts 1475usa |
short powerful and the awareness of that moment comes through..I think that.....I am doing THIS.... hmm dont think I could do that |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
Oh Ed... I wish I had something profound to say to this--not quite what I expected. You took an ending and wrote the prologue. You hush me silent.  |
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angelblueyes Member Elite
since 2003-07-19
Posts 2148Oklahoma |
This was hurtful and I know it took alot out of you to write,but my hope is that you released the hurt and replaced it with warmth.Have been there many times and I hope you can be free. angelblueyes |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
 Always respectful of one who deserves them... |
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vlraynes Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229Somewhere... out there... |
Ed...all I can say is...I felt this one. Big hugs to you, friend, ~Vicky "My friends are my estate." ~Emily Dickinson [This message has been edited by vlraynes (08-01-2003 03:52 PM).] |
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Susan Caldwell Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348Florida |
Ed, I feel you on this one...I secretly wait for the day that I may have the honor of digging through human ash... Nicely done! Susan C. |
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