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Open Poetry #27

Light OF Love

Black Swan
Member

since 2003-02-05

Posts 165
on the moon

0 posted 2003-06-15 04:47 AM

He puts the sparkle in these eyes
he pulls the sadness from me
he changes the way I see things
he hides this love from everyone
except me
he's always telling it to me
with his eyes
never caring that it's there
the chemistry,the awkward stare
the longer - then - 10 - second - hugs
the way everything stops
when I enter that gaze
the frozen moment
when the sunlight no longer reaches from the window
it grows with a little help
from the electricity sparks
light the match of love

I can see just fine in here

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

1 posted 2003-06-15 04:49 AM

very cool ending!

Margherita
Member Seraphic

since 2003-02-08

Posts 22236
Eternity

2 posted 2003-06-15 09:49 AM

Great write!
Love, Margherita

Kahlil
Senior Member

since 2003-04-12

Posts 1881

3 posted 2003-06-15 11:21 AM

oh yeah, I know about THAT light, Talia! mmm hmm, very nice....

the_loner_23
Member Ascendant

since 2002-06-08

Posts 5479
Jacksonville, Florida, USA

4 posted 2003-06-15 11:34 AM

Awesome write!!!!!

Cold hands means a warm heart

daniel_martin
Junior Member

since 2003-06-15

Posts 30
london

5 posted 2003-06-15 11:41 AM

not really my sort of poetry.

my problem with it is that it simply describes things through an every day perspective, without making use of the poetic mechanisms that make poetry poetic.

however, it has a very sound flow to it, and the line breaks and rhythm is good. That sort of thing can never be taught.. it's just instinctive.

daniel

Goldenrose
Member Elite

since 2003-05-30

Posts 3665

6 posted 2003-06-16 06:36 AM

I love your dark world,dark save for the light of your genius.
Dont usualy like this sort of poetry,but you seem to tell it differently to others.

Thank you.

Goldenrose.

Artic Wind
Member Rara Avis

since 2007-09-16

Posts 8080
Realm of Supernatural

7 posted 2008-02-06 05:05 PM

Lovely Poem Black!!!!

Very Much Enjoyed

ARCTIC WIND

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