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wranx
Member Elite

since 2002-06-07

Posts 3689
Moved from a shack to a barn

0 posted 2003-07-16 02:51 AM

I look to the sky
Empty now
Save for a single star

A beacon struggling
To illuminate the night

I look in my heart
Empty now
Save for a hollow echo

Merely a shadow
Of songs that once lived there

I look down the road
Empty now
Save for a few faint footprints

The pale impressions
She had left in her hurry

Kaoru

Member Elite

since 2003-06-07

Posts 3892
where the wild flowers grow

1 posted 2003-07-16 02:59 AM

Made me invision the sky on a cold winter night, up here..
Which is a beautiful thing..

Enjoyed.

vlraynes
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-07-25

Posts 8229
Somewhere... out there...

2 posted 2003-07-16 03:01 AM

Ed...I really like this...beautifully said.
Hugs,
~Vicky
"...until you have read the verse on his heart,
you have not truly met the poet.
~vlraynes

JaiOfHeaven
Member

since 2003-04-12

Posts 207
California, Usa

3 posted 2003-07-16 04:41 AM

A beacon struggling..to illuminate the night. Made me imagine the ocean with the loud murmurs of crashing waves...and the distant look of vast like night. Dark blue and purple clouds lushly painting the sky. Alot of imagery...

scorpio
Member Ascendant

since 2002-10-02

Posts 5178
right...there

4 posted 2003-07-16 09:34 AM

Exquisite in the feelings expressed here, Ed..

believe in what your heart feels...

Aenimal
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-11-18

Posts 7350
the ass-end of space

5 posted 2003-07-16 09:43 AM

I'd say this aches but it doesn't it kills..
still the beacon, despite it's struggle, does shine, and songs must still exist to cast shadows but then I'm a hypocrit of course because i know this and yet obsess over similar footprints..though most are across my back rather than on the road grins
peace

[This message has been edited by Aenimal (07-16-2003 09:44 AM).]

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

6 posted 2003-07-16 09:47 AM

I heard the ocean
roar
saw the dunes
ghostly white
saw a man
standing at the shoreline
watching the tide
take the footprints
to the sea...

~*~

you're good for my muse!

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean

since 1999-07-07

Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla

7 posted 2003-07-16 10:00 AM

wranx
You always pull a rabbit out of the hat.
Enjoyed.

Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-12-27

Posts 8348
Florida

8 posted 2003-07-16 10:06 AM

Sadly beautiful.

Susan C.

Soleil Noir
Senior Member

since 2001-12-19

Posts 688
USA

9 posted 2003-07-16 10:09 AM

You ARE good
for a moody muse Wranx...

thanks

brian sites
Senior Member

since 2002-06-25

Posts 1475
usa

10 posted 2003-07-16 11:41 AM

this is sharp
and pointy
and
real good

watch them lightnin bugs instead

Mysteria

Member Laureate

since 2001-03-07

Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada

11 posted 2003-07-16 11:48 AM

Well now isn't this a well written but sad tale? I think if you look deeper to that sky you will see there are more stars to stare at another time. And if you look a little deeper into that hollow heart, you feel the reverberation of a song of promise that only her footsteps may have made possible. Just keep humming, "These boots were made for walking", and then remember how glad you are yes?

I don't want to know where I am going, as it ruins the journey. Carpe' Diem

littlewing
Member Rara Avis

since 2003-03-02

Posts 9655
New York

12 posted 2003-07-16 12:32 PM

Ed - dont look at the path anymore please
focus on the river . . . to WATCH it I mean
xxoo

Martie

Moderator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-09-21

Posts 28049
California

13 posted 2003-07-16 02:10 PM

Ed...perhaps the foot prints lead somewhere, perhaps they are a reminder of goodbye...either way, each minute is a new beginning.

Earth Angel
Member Empyrean

since 2002-08-27

Posts 40215
Realms of Light

14 posted 2003-07-16 03:40 PM

Simple and sorrowful.

Relax your eyes when you behold the firmament at night! A new, and brighter star may come into view!

Love & Eternal Light,
EA

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean

since 2000-02-02

Posts 27738

15 posted 2003-07-16 11:56 PM

You tug the heartstrings so gently...

quiet hugs, yeti.

Honeybunch
Member Rara Avis

since 2001-12-29

Posts 7115
South Africa

16 posted 2003-07-17 12:24 PM

You have expressed very well how we all have felt at times but it sure is amazing how we survive through the "emptiness" until perhaps we "live" again.

Midnitesun

Member Empyrean

since 2001-05-18

Posts 28647
Gaia

17 posted 2003-07-17 12:29 PM

sad scene
wanna borrow my magic flashlight?

wranx
Member Elite

since 2002-06-07

Posts 3689
Moved from a shack to a barn

18 posted 2003-07-17 12:36 PM

There's nothing here really.

I was just "taken" by the image of footprints being dropped on the ground.

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

19 posted 2003-07-17 12:55 PM

geez, this is sort of sad for me...liked it~

Deus
Junior Member

since 2003-07-17

Posts 18
California, US

20 posted 2003-07-17 03:19 AM

I like the structure and repetition as well as the imagery. Pretty good for someone who has never written ;].

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