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Open Poetry #27
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Why Do I Want You
| Open Poetry #27 |
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Why Do I Want You |
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LilElmo New Member
since 2003-07-08
Posts 5illinois |
Why Do I Want You My mind is going crazy I can't get you out of my head I really don't have a problem with it I just want you here instead To see your blue-gray eyes Staring at my face To see your wonderful smile That lights up the whole place Why do I want you I can't figure it out I want to be with you Now what's that all about Maybe it's your smile Or the simple way you walk Maybe it's your personality Or the simple way you talk The nice things you say And the way you make me feel Sometimes I actually wonder Is this boy for real My heart will always wonder Why I like you so But until it comes to mind I guess i'll never know And if nothing ever happens I will have to let it go. By:Tomeka Tomeka *Elmo* |
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| © Copyright 2003 Tomeka M. Beamon - All Rights Reserved | |||
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
ah...those blue-gray eyes...that's what it is Tomeka, good write here, and I love those boys with blue-gray eyes  |
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heavy New Member
since 2003-07-12
Posts 4 |
hey thats a wicked poem.. my ex had blue green eyes... damn those eyes could make me shiver. oh he i just saw you want criticism... alright cool. well as i was reading it i thought it could be broken up into seperate stanzas where the ideas change. im sure when you read it you might see where i mean. and by the way, howd you get that little heading there to encourage critiques? lemme know as im always looking to see how someone thinks my work can be improved. |
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bslicker 
since 2000-12-04
Posts 2321state of mind |
nice write  A smile a day keeps the world in smile's. |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
I think you have identified most of the reasons...nice writing...james |
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