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Open Poetry #27
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"Story" of a man
| Open Poetry #27 |
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"Story" of a man |
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Honeybunch Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-29
Posts 7115South Africa 
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Wistful was the gaze of a man toward a grave, his stance a frozen molecule confined within the past, as overhead an eagle cried and swooped to land before rising up again and flying out of sight. To be as such and disappear like a body born alive and who would remember how air was once disturbed? Who would recall how once a heart was heard beating full and vibrant in the glory of the world? And then he moved away fearful lest he stray back to hopeful looks into future’s face before like an eagle it up and flew away. He saw the way to go, the path lay lush and green, yet he hacked at the undergrowth of disbelief and fear till emerging once again as a product of his youth that overcame the obstacle of true abiding love. He kicked at the earth, dust rose into the air, his strength likened to a stone moved off to the side, and he rested in a vacuum of inner turmoil, pain, listlessly awaiting the apology of soul. Yet all of us together, bound, tied, in life’s dismay wonder at the seemingly unfilled atmosphere inhaled to keep us living like empty vessels stored in a cupboard of heartache until the final call. One day perhaps the man, me, you, will return again and surrender to, not overcome, the obstacle of love but meanwhile there’s the world so despicably cruel and no air is disturbed by our time spent here on earth! |
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| © Copyright 2003 Helen - All Rights Reserved | |||
Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
Very intense, Helen, and well written. *sigh* but I think I was born to disturb the air |
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Honeybunch Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-29
Posts 7115South Africa |
Thanks Midnitesun. Yes, we all try to disturb the air but "at the end of the day" it looks just the same.  |
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Tim Senior Member
since 1999-06-08
Posts 1794 |
You put some thought into your poem, and it shows by its quality. Enjoyed. |
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timothysangel1973
since 2001-12-03
Posts 1725Never close enough |
 Very much enjoyed Honey |
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Honeybunch Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-29
Posts 7115South Africa |
Thank you, Tim and Timothysangel, for reading and commenting. I'm glad you enjoyed it. |
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JaiOfHeaven Member
since 2003-04-12
Posts 207California, Usa |
Made me feel as though I was reading a saga...really was a story. short story anyway...great quality. |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Honeybunch...You look at the world and people with thoughtful eyes....your poems reflect a beautiful spirit. This person sounds familiar, perhaps he is everyone? |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Honeybunch...You look at the world and people with thoughtful eyes....your poems reflect a beautiful spirit. This person sounds familiar, perhaps he is everyone? |
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garysgirl
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237Florida, USA |
One day perhaps the man, me, you, will return again and surrender to, not overcome, the obstacle of love Helen, this is really beautiful writing... all of it. This ending just has such a longing . I really enjoyed reading this.  Hugs  Ethel |
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Honeybunch Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-29
Posts 7115South Africa |
Thanks, JaiOfHeaven. Short stories are my "speciality" especially on a Sunday night! And Martie - Yes, the man is "everyone" at least for some of the time and, you know what, I don't think there's a place for "beautiful spirits" in this world. |
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Honeybunch Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-29
Posts 7115South Africa |
Thank you, Ethel, for reading and enjoying my ramble. I appreciate you commenting. |
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icebox Member Elite
since 2003-05-03
Posts 4383in the shadows |
We are all stardust; our lives, our thoughts, hopes dreams, sins and blessed deeds, are dust motes stirred in the sunlight by a primal breeze. The best we can do sometimes is to take notice as they form and drift away. Always thought provoking is your work. Thank you. |
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Honeybunch Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-29
Posts 7115South Africa |
Hi, Icebox! I think those who don't take notice are better off but not to do so is perhaps a "sin". Always hard to watch things drifting by but we do it and we survive! Thanks for the read. |
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wranx Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689Moved from a shack to a barn |
Very nicely done! Thickly layered...Dark ~wranx |
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Honeybunch Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-29
Posts 7115South Africa |
Thank you, wranx. I appreciate you reading and commenting. |
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ecrivan Member Elite
since 2001-12-10
Posts 3923my own state |
Interesting use of imagery, enjoyed  |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
Very very nicely written and very much enjoyed! ~Smiles & Hugs, Nancy~ ~ I've loved you forever, in lifetimes before ~ |
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Foxyoasis Senior Member
since 2003-06-10
Posts 974Atlantic Beach,Fla |
very good Fool me once shame on you.....Fool me twice shame on me..... |
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Honeybunch Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-29
Posts 7115South Africa |
Thanks you, Ecrivan, Enchantress & Foxyoasis. It's always an honour when people read what I write and I'm glad you enjoyed it. |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
wow! i have to agree with icebox here...a "thinker" write |
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Honeybunch Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-29
Posts 7115South Africa |
'Tis the heart that "thinks" when the brain has passed it's sell-by date! Thanks Passing Shadow. I appreciate you reading and commenting. |
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