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Open Poetry #27
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one, two, three, four...
| Open Poetry #27 |
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one, two, three, four... |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738
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"Soldier, you are going home." There was no response from me-- I had heard the words before like numbers from the lottery always just a digit off-- so I learned survival skill of expectation's death. "Soldier? Did you hear the news? You are going home, I said." Then I turned my gaze to him annoyed he'd made me lose my count of the tiles the ceiling held-- I would have to start again-- concentrate to find the end-- and all of them just looked the same-- an inventoried gallery proof of order in the world where the nature of the beast had the calm and stealth of squirrel in the crosshairs of the hunt... Finally I smiled at him giving confirmation, begged. "Of course." I thought in silentspeak-- home, the only place for me to be without my legs. Thus I did begin again, counting from the corner square... [This message has been edited by serenity blaze (06-12-2003 09:44 PM).] |
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| © Copyright 2003 serenity blaze - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Goodknight Member Elite
since 2002-06-15
Posts 2386Ohio, USA |
Powerful poetry here Serenity - full of strong images and feelings - Paul |
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Magnus
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135South Carolina, USA |
Yes Karen, this is a very powerful write. Boy, could I do something with this theme. Excellent, dear lady... |
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icebox Member Elite
since 2003-05-03
Posts 4383in the shadows |
"where the nature of the beast had the calm and stealth of squirrel in the crosshairs of the hunt..." So, long distance is the next best thing to being there? I see every face, not in every dream, not even every night, but I've no doubt each image, frozen in the instant just before the lightning bolt of change, returns and tucks away to wait within its own safe resting place. When you are done with it, may I have that piece of my soul back, please? |
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Aenimal Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350the ass-end of space |
You are on fire |
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the_loner_23 Member Ascendant
since 2002-06-08
Posts 5479Jacksonville, Florida, USA |
I am speechless Cold hands means a warm heart |
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Jason Lyle Senior Member
since 2003-02-07
Posts 1438With my darkling |
Very powerful, and hard hitting. Jason |
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Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
Wow, this packs a punch... powerful indeed. hugs you. Maree  |
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garysgirl 
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237Florida, USA |
This sure is a powerful poem, Karen... with every word. |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Karen...How many times can you be amazing...I'm still counting more |
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Mysteria
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
Well that just called for a duet and I guess you know who is meant to carry this all to a higher ground with you right? This was truly steller! The sadness of this headed my right back to "The Deer Hunter." |
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littlewing Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655New York |
Damn K! This one reminded me of "Coming Home" brilliant Lady K xxoo |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
powerful stuff here K love this! |
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Susan Caldwell Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348Florida |
I am so glad I decided not to do any work today and went a reading on pip. I somehow missed this before...Karen, I have counted as well...different tile, different place..but the counting is the same... Susan  |
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Nightshade
since 2001-08-31
Posts 13962just out of reach |
Excellent write Karen. hugs, Chris  "Hope" is the thing with feathers- |
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Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
Lady, you've done it again, you've made me re-think the ceiling of life. You are well past that number 5 tile. |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
I wanted to say thanks, altho I didn't intend for this to tell a literal story. I was just looking for a metaphor for my personal situation (it's all about ME afterall--  ) This is the best I could come up with regarding how "hollow" it feels to "win" a personal battle, feeling unsure if it's a win after all, knowing I have to learn how to live a different way--and not at all thrilled about it either.Not the best metaphor anyway, considering I can always go back to "war"--but this poor guy can't grow legs. sigh. But thanks for reading. And my apologies for beating everybody over the head with a poetic baseball bat lately. I DO admire the more gentle touch most of you seem to have. I've been kinda edgy lately. Forgive me? And to all. |
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Dr.Moose1 Member Elite
since 1999-09-05
Posts 3448Bewilderment , USA |
serenity, "Soldier, you are going home". This one simple phrase speaks to all who have been lost, and gives hope that we actually have some place to return to, (an' the rest ain't bad neither). Thanks for this. Doc |
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vlraynes Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229Somewhere... out there... |
Karen...I remember reading this one when you first posted, and not having the proper words to say, and thinking I'd get back to it. Well, I'm finally back. This is just such an amazing and powerful piece, and after reading your explanation, I may STILL not have words, but I DO have plenty of  to spare.Love you, lady.  "it is better to be a part of beauty for one instant and then cease to exist than to exist forever and never be a part of beauty" -- Don Marquis [This message has been edited by vlraynes (07-18-2003 12:55 AM).] |
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Skyfire
since 2000-12-27
Posts 3381Riding |
hmmmmm... *pondering* ... Even though you're gone ... |
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